“Hudson, you know that’s not true. He’d be proud of you just as you are.”
He nodded, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “Logically, I know that. But in my heart?” He pressed her hand to his chest, the rapid thump beneath her palm making her ache. “I can’t stop feeling like I’m not living up to everything he told me I could be.”
“Why didn’t you talk to me about this?” Even though they’d had these plans in place to go to State and graduate…each go on to do mildly boring but practical jobs, she’d known deep down that Hudson wouldn’t have been satisfied with that. Not the guy who lived for adventure. Not the one who idolized his father, who put everything he had into keeping his loved ones safe.
And what better way to do that than to honor his dad’s legacy and fight for their country?
“I didn’t know how.”
The words cut her. Because the only thing she hadn’t been able to talk to Hudson about had been her feelings for him. Everything else? Every ounce of pain or uncertainty or happiness or sorrow in her life, she’d been able to share with him. She hated that he hadn’t felt the same.
“What—” She shook her head, trying to focus on the thoughts and questions bombarding her. But the single one that kept coming up over and over again was the same one that felt like a lead weight in her stomach. Like an arrow straight to her heart. “When?”
As soon as the single syllable left her lips, tears stung her eyes. Her throat tightened as if some part of her already had everything figured out, while the rest of her was still sitting in the unknown with some shadow of hope hanging on. Maybe they’d have a while before he left. No matter how long or short it was, she’d take whatever time she could get with him. She’d take it and cling to it with everything she had. She’d make the most of—
“Next week.”
Mac’s breath left her in a whoosh, a wrecking ball smashing into her torso and stealing all the air in her lungs. She left for State on Monday. And he wasn’t going with her.
They didn’t have months. They didn’t even have weeks. They had days.Hours.
And then he’d be gone.
“Take me back,” Mac said through clenched teeth. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, her throat tight from withholding them. Not from sadness—although that was swirling somewhere in the vortex of her emotions—but from anger. She was so damnmadat him, she couldn’t see straight.
“Kenna, I know this—”
“Take me backright now, Hudson Miller, or I swear to God, I’ll jump overboard and swim back.”
He reached for her, but she jerked away, avoiding his touch. She couldn’t handle it. Not now.
“Tell me what you’re thinkin’,” he said. “Please. It’s killin’ me.”
Oh, it was killing him, was it? He wasn’t aware of her thoughts for a grand total of 180 seconds, and it waskillinghim? Meanwhile, she’d been kept in the dark formonths?
“Too damn bad,” she snapped. “Apparently we don’t tell each other everything we’re thinkin’, so you’re just gonna have to wait. Now,start the motor.”
He opened his mouth, no doubt to reply, but instead, he gave her a once-over. Yeah, she could imagine what she looked like. Cheeks bright red, though no longer from arousal, arms crossed over her chest to cover up the parts of her that still perked up at his presence, and a red-hot glare directed solely at him.
With a dip of his chin, he started the engine and directed them back toward the cabin. The hum of the motor drowned out any talking they could do, but that was just fine for her. She didn’t have a whole hell of a lot to say to his lying ass. And, yes, he was a liar—there was no damn way he was getting off on a technicality. True, he’d never specifically told her he wasn’t enlisting in the army, but she’d never asked. Why would she? They’d made plans—plans she’d been counting on and looking forward to for two years. And those plans most certainly hadn’t included him putting his life on the line. They hadn’t included him leaving her.
The urge to get away from him crept up her spine and latched on to her throat, tightening in a vise. She was about to lose it, the tears collecting in her eyes threatening to spill over at any second, and she’d be damned if she did it in front of him.
Hudson slowed the motor as he guided them toward land. As soon as they were close enough to the dock that Mac figured she could make it with a hard enough jump, she stood up inside the boat and leaped.
“Kenna! What the f—”
She ignored him and didn’t look back. Instead, she sprinted up the hill toward the cabin, bypassing the hammock and yard games set up, and stormed inside. She swiped at the tears running down her cheeks, hating that she cried whenever she was angry.
Except, she wasn’t just angry. She was devastated.
That thought tore a sob from her throat, and she glanced down toward the lake. Hudson tied up the boat with impressive speed, his gaze cutting up toward the cabin every few seconds, his jaw tight. She didn’t have much time before he’d be in the house and in her space, demanding she talk to him. And if she talked to him at that moment, she knew without a doubt she’d say things she’d regret.
She needed to get the hell out of there.
Without pausing for second thoughts, she snatched his keys off the counter, grabbed her bag, and flew out the door. She tossed her bag into the passenger’s seat and slammed the door on his truck, revving the engine before shifting into drive and peeling out.
Through tear-filled eyes, she watched in the rearview mirror as Hudson ran toward her.
