She raised a brow."Because he's so irresistible?"
"Yeah, something like that," I mumbled.
She sighed heavily."You're going to get hurt."
I couldn't even argue with her, because she was right.I was feeling more for him than I should.And I had no idea where his head was.
"He's probably able to compartmentalize this whole thing: work, ex, and everything else.He's already made it clear that you're not a part of his life and never will be."
I winced."That's harsh."
"Well, didn't he?"Her voice rose.
"I didn't realize you hated him so much."I didn’t like that she was so against this.
"I hated how he made you feel, like you'd never be able to keep a man."
My shoulders slumped."I've never said that."
She gave me a sympathetic look."You didn't have to."
My sister knew me better than anyone."I don't know what to do."
"What do you want to do?"she asked gently.
"I like spending time with him.When we're together, it's intense, different from when we were younger.It's almost as if we weren't capable of that depth of feeling back then.It had been new, and we were young.But now, there are no constraints."
"Maybe there should be," she muttered, looking at the snow that was still falling.
"I think it's too late.I'm already in too deep, and I don't think I could end things again."I didn't want to.
She picked up her tablet."Don't say I didn't warn you."
I didn't expect her to support me, but her words were the reality I needed to hear."I'll be careful."
But she didn't respond, just got right back into our plans for the parade.I was able to refocus on work and push Ford out of my head.He took up a lot of my time and focus, but I wouldn't let what was going on with us interfere with work.
We got an outline of the parade order down on paper and a timeline of the day.Enough that I would be able to send information to the participants.
Eve sat back in her chair."You know what would be even better?"
"What?"I asked, standing up to stretch my back.
"If we could get a Santa to ride on top of a fire truck, throwing out those mini candy canes."
I remembered that from when I was a kid, sitting on a curb in Telluride while the red-and-white candies skidded across the asphalt, and kids swarmed them like ants on a crumb."Who would be Santa?"
"I think the department has someone who does it because they go through the neighborhoods a week or so before Christmas with their sirens, waving at the kids on the sidewalk."
We hadn't lived in a neighborhood, so we'd never experienced that as kids."You think they'd do that for us?Don't they usually only do that for neighborhoods that are near Telluride?I would assume they're busy with calls and, you know, saving people's lives."
Eve drew her lower lip through her teeth."It's worth a shot."
I raised a brow."Are you going to contact them?"
A slow smile spread over her face as an idea formed."I'm going to show up in a dress with baked goods."
"You can't be serious?"Although I shouldn't be surprised.She always came up with crazy ideas that she executed with perfection, getting exactly what she wanted.
