“Shut up! I’m not completely oblivious, I just choose to ignore it. But yeah, he was also going pretty hard,” I laugh. “Anyway, after the coffees he walked me back to my dorm and asked me to go to a party.”
“He asked you out? Did you go?” she asks.
“Yeah, and we hung out, and talked, he seemed nice. He asked if I wanted to see his room, even held my hand in front of everyone when he led me there.”
“So what happened? How was he an asshole?” she asks.
“When we got to his room, he told me that he liked me, and he leaned in, like he was going to kiss me…”
“And did he?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“Okay, so I need details, what was it like?”
“It felt nice… I think. Not like I was expecting…”
“Well first kisses can be awkward,” she says, “and maybe it all happened a bit quickly, so you didn’t have time to really process it. How was it different from what you expected?”
“I don’t know. I remember thinking that he tasted like beer, but that’s about it. I guess I thought I’d feel more… is that stupid?”
“No,” she laughs softly, “not stupid, some kisses do make you feel more.” Her gaze flicks to Diablo for a moment before returning to me. “What happened after the kiss?”
I sigh, “Well that’s when it all went to shit. He asked me if I was ready, and I didn’t understand what he meant at first, then he asked me if I was prepped—”
“He wanted sex? Just like that?” she asks.
“Yeah, I started to panic, I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew I didn’t want to do that. He mentioned something about me never being fucked by a guy before, and then he got really angry at me—”
“What?” Beth whisper shouts at me, fury laced across her face.
“Yeah, then he asked if I wanted to give him a blow job, but I didn’t want to do that either. He said he thought I was cute but that he wasn’t gonna hold my hand through it, so I got the hell out of there.”
“Good, you need to stay well away from him,” she says.
“Yup,” I nod, “like I said, he’s an asshole.”
“Understatement of the fucking century! I can’t believe he had the nerve to even ask that after the way he treated you. Donovan, I’m so sorry.” She leans over and takes my hand, squeezing it gently. “You know this is not on you, right?”
Warmth spreads through my chest at how well she knows me, knowing how I would have internalized his actions and thought it was me.
“I know,” I say, “at the time, I did think it was all my fault, that I was the issue. I felt so embarrassed, but my roommate talked me through it.”
“You talked to your roommate about it? The jock?” she asks.
“Yeah, when I went back to the room, it was obvious I’d been crying, and he kind of guessed. Apparently a coupleof his friends have had issues with Kyle in the past. He was worried about me going to the party with him but didn’t want to interfere in case it ruined something good for me.”
“Huh,” she smirks.
“What?”
“What’s going on with the roommate?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, knowing I probably sound incredibly defensive.
“I mean, you just had a look on your face when you talked about him.”
“I didn’t have a look; there was no look.”
