He sighs sadly, “In the history of the NFL, only one player has been openly LGBTQ+ while signed to a team; there have been others who have come out after retirement, but not while playing.”
“Shit, only one?”
“Yup,” he nods, “most sports have an element of toxic masculinity to them, but football, there have been players who have said outright homophobic shit in interviews, and they don’t even get called out on it.”
“I’ve heard stuff, I remember Beth and some of her friends attended a protest at the Warriors stadium, another team were coming to play after one of their players had made homophobic statements in an interview.”
“Yeah, I remember that. The player said he would never play a team if there was a gay person on it.”
“Shit, what a fucking asshole,” I say, although I can’t help but think about my brother’s motorcycle club and their rule about no gay people being allowed.
“So that’s why I’m not out,” Stephen says. “I love football, I want to go pro more than anything. Besides, most players only play pro for about three and a half years, so I figure I’ll keep my head down, and come out when I retire.”
He shrugs as though it’s no big deal, but in reality he’s making a huge sacrifice for what is essentially a game, but then, I don’t have dreams of playing pro.
“Thank you for telling me,” I say.
“No worries, thank you for listening. You feeling okay about the Kyle thing?” he asks.
I nod. “You’re right, he’s obviously not the type of person I want to be spending my time with, if he’s not willing to respect the fact that I haven’t been with anyone and that I want a relationship, not a party hook-up.”
“Yeah,” he says, but there’s something else in his eyes, I just can’t make out what it is.
“Anyway,” I say, “I should probably…” I let my words trail off and point to my bed. “Thanks again, for everything.”
“You’re welcome,” he says.
Before I get too far, he pulls me into another hug. Unlike the earlier one, I’m not crying this time, so it’s even harder not to over-think the fact that I fit perfectly against his chest… and how strong his arms feel… and how fucking good he smells…
After a little while, he lets me go. “I’d better get back to studying,” he says, clearing his throat, before moving towards his desk and sitting down.
“Mm-hmm,” I say, going to my bed and grabbing my book, knowing I won’t be able to concentrate on it when the beautiful, not straight jock, who is also a really nice guy is sitting within reach from me, his scent still surrounding me after the hug.
Chapter 5
Donovan
Thesunwarmsmybody as I lie next to Beth on the loungers surrounding the pool. We’d planned to meet this weekend at my stepdad’s house so we could catch up, but neither of us expected Diablo to show up too. Well, that’s not completely true, I’d hoped he would. I may have told his best friend, Tank, that Beth would be here with me. Judging by how often he’s looking over here and staring at her, something is definitely going on between them, and they need all the help they can get.
“So come on,” Beth says, grinning at me, “your mom and Diablo can’t hear us now, so spill. I want to know everything!”
“My classes are really amazing—”
I’m interrupted by her chucking a handful of ice from her drink over me.
“Fuck off, Donovan, I don’t want to hear about your classes,” she says, both of us laughing.
“You don’t want to hear about my classes? Really?” I ask mockingly, throwing some ice back at her and making her scream.
“Please, Donovan. I need gossip, I want to hear about all the hot guys you’ve met, you’ve barely said anything in your messages.”
“Not much to say, there was this one guy, Kyle, but he turned out to be a complete asshole.”
“Oh my god, what happened?” she asks, concern crossing her face.
“He’s the friend of someone I kind of know; we all went for coffee together, and he was flirting with me—”
“And you noticed? He must have been going hard,” she chuckles.
