“I couldn't stay away, Ethan. I needed to make sure you were okay. Actually I always have trouble staying away from wherever you are.” I closed the distance between us and finally, fucking finally, kissed those full lips. As he opened up for me, all I could think wasfuck, how will I ever walk away from such perfection.
Ethan joined in immediately and pressed against me, demanding more, deeper, harder. I was surprised by his aggressiveness but gave him what he wanted. I placed my hands on his waist and pushed him against the wall of the hallway, pressing a knee between his legs and immobilizing him so I could explore. My tongue found his, and we danced with each other for what could have been hours, nipping and sucking, pulling back for breath, then plunging back for more. I ground my painfully hard cock against his belly while he wantonly moaned and rubbed his equally hard cock on my thigh.
This. This right here was what I had been missing. I had missed kisses and the feel of another person’s body heat against my own. Human beings needed this, and I had denied it for so long. Why had I denied myself this basic human pleasure?
Ethan was exploring me with his mouth and hands, getting frantic as he unbuttoned my pants and opened his robe. Holy, hot damn, I pulled back just enough to notice he was naked underneath the robe. I didn’t have much more time to think about seeing him naked for the first time because my cock was out of my pants, in his hands, and he was rubbing us together in a filthy rhythm that had my brain going offline. All I could do was rut into his surprisingly strong hand, feeling his scorching flesh rub me closer and closer to the edge. His other hand had inched up to my waist to pull me closer, creeping under my undershirt to rub my waist. I couldn’t think, all I could do was chase the unbelievable pleasure that was tightening my balls, and tingling along my spine.
“I’m so close, Ethan. God, please don’t stop.” I begged, too far gone to care what I sounded like.
“I’m close, too, Jay. Fuck you get me so hard. I can’t last. I’ve wanted this for so long.”
He increased the pressure on our frotting cocks and kissed me with everything he had, biting my tongue hard enough for us to taste blood. That was all it took. I threw my head back and howled out my orgasm, grunting every time he wrung another spurt of cum from me. He grunted out his own release at the same time, mixing our fluids together and slowing down to caress us together. He seemed reluctant to let the moment go. Truth be told, I was, too.
“Fuck, that was everything I imagined and more,” he said, squeezing the skin at my waist. “Hey, what is this on your side, Jay? It feels like a nasty scar. Were you in an accident? You never said anything about it before.” He innocently went to pull my shirt up to look at my side, and I panicked.
Quickly stepping back to put distance between us, I pushed my soft cock back into my pants and started backpedaling, my mind racing.No, it wasn’t from an accident. It was from a knife. Thank you for reminding me. It happened a long time ago when I didn’t do the right thing, and I hurt someone close to me. I won’t do that again. I can’t do it again.I looked into Ethan’s confused eyes, and knew I couldn't do this to him.
“I can’t do this, Ethan. I thought I could have something for me, but it’s not in the cards. I can’t take advantage of you under my roof and expect you to feel safe. That’s not fair to you. I don’t have anything to give you, baby. You deserve so much more. I’m so sorry I was selfish tonight. Please find a way to forgive me, and I promise I won’t ever violate your trust again.”
During my speech, Ethan had averted his eyes and closed his robe tightly around him, holding his waist in a death grip like he could hug and comfort himself. I did that to him. I caused all this pain and awkwardness because I was a stupid, selfish bastard who didn’t deserve his love. As I turned toward my room and finally got into my shower, I couldn’t stop kicking my stupid self for fucking everything up. If I had ever wondered whether I deserved happiness, I didn’t have to wonder anymore. All I did was cause misery and pain and mistrust. I didn’t deserve anything better than my constant loneliness.
