“How?”
He glanced away from her again, frowning at the fire. “I want to...” He shook his head. “I want to know I can choose. Anything. Everything. I want that power back. I hate the way this feels. Like I’m lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Sometimes I think I died and woke up in someone else’s life. Everything looks the same, but I can feel a difference.”
Daisy blinked. The pain in his voice shook her. “I know who you are.”
He let out a clipped laugh and then winced. “You can’t.”
“I do.”
He shook his head. “If I can’t recognize myself in this weak body, then how could you?”
“Because I’m looking in your eyes. Bodies break and mend. But who you are is in here.” She put her hand on his chest. “You’ll get everything you want.”
He stared at her. The air in the room heated more the longer he looked at her, then he smirked. “Now it’s your turn. What do you want? What would bring you happiness?”
Daisy shifted her feet. She knew what she wanted—or at least what she didn’t. She always had, but she’d been too afraid to sayit. For longer than she cared to admit, she’d battled with this guilt. How could she refuse the gift of a prominent marriage? She’d elevate her family into the peerage. Become a countess. Birth the heirs to an earldom. Be the start of a legacy for her family. But in every ounce of her blood, she did not want to marry Cliffton.
What shewantedwas to kiss Alston. She wanted to feel his lips against hers. Not a peck on her cheek—a real kiss. There was no one else she wanted to kiss her more than him. Her first kiss, not claimed by Cliffton, but someone she chose for herself. If only she were brave enough...
Daisy swallowed and stood. The words hung heavy on her tongue. Glued together by the fear of rejection.
His steady gaze unraveled her, the warmth, the clarity, the blue as bright and wide open as a wintry sky. But there was nothing cold in his gaze. How could there ever be? Not after what he’d been through. He was alive, radiating vitality. His height, his build, he’d be overwhelming if he weren’t so... him. So inviting, soothing, like he exuded his joy for life, even when he was angry. He sparked with life. A life she wanted to touch. If she did, she might be more alive too. She might feel all the things she was starved of.
“I want you to kiss me,” she said.
The words had unfrozen and slipped out like an illicit whisper. He didn’t react at first. Daisy thought maybe she’d imagined saying them aloud. But then his eyes blazed with fire, hot blue, a prism of so many shades. It stole her breath. His gaze consumed her and swallowed her voice, her fears, her silence. He slowly pushed to his feet until he was standing over her. They were so close she could feel the caress of his breath against her lips.
“You can’t say something like that and take it back. Not with me.”
Her heart splintered and burst into light. “I know, I just . . . I thought . . .”
“What? What are you thinking?” he urged.
“I don’t want to wait for someone to corner me in a garden. I want my first kiss to be with you. Who else could I trust with something so...”
Alston was a beautiful man. She had no doubt he’d kissed any number of women. Kisses could be as trivial as dandelions to him, and she’d asked for one like it would change her entire life. She was such a ninny. Whatever had flared to life in her chest swiftly died.
His hand grabbed her chin.
“Eyes on me,” he said.
“I wasn’t—”
“Yes, you were. You were about to look away, coward.”
Daisy sucked in a breath of indignation. “You try asking someone to kiss you for the first time.”
He smirked. “It’s easy. It goes like this. Daisy, I want you to kiss me.”
Was he teasing? She would not look away, but looking at him made her pulse race and her body tingle with anticipation. Like she’d tripped and knew she was about to fall. Would it hurt? Would she be embarrassed?
His smile widened. “I bet your thoughts are scattering.”
She couldn’t look away, but she could nod.
“You don’t need to think. I’ve already thought about it too much.”
“About what, exactly?” Her thoughts were fleeing like blossoms in a strong wind, but she needed to hear it.
