‘And he wants to be with me, but he didn’t think you could cope on your own, so he’s stayed with you, all these years, sacrificing his own happiness. I can’t let him do it anymore. We want to be together.’
She was welling up now and Bernadette felt a twinge of sympathy for her, swiftly followed by an avalanche of rage at Kenneth.
‘You bastard,’ she said, swearing in front of the kids for the first time in her life. If they were scarred by it, she’d arrange the therapy. ‘All these years you were shagging this poor woman and feeding her a whole lot of lies?’
‘He never lied to me!’ Lila protested.
‘Oh. love, you have no idea.’
‘Ken, tell them!’ Lila wailed.
Bernadette could see that she was getting upset now. Kenneth had really done a number on her, yet Bernadette didn’t quite understand it. Her husband’s mistress – for she absolutely believed her – was young, and stunning, and clearly adored him, yet he’d stayed with her all these years in a loveless marriage. Why? Did it really all come down to the fact that he enjoyed the control so much that he wouldn’t let it go?
‘Yep, tell us, Dad,’ Nina prompted, her gaze deadly.
It was no use – he stood there, stony-faced, refusing to be drawn in to it.
‘Tell them you love me,’ Lila demanded, and Bernadette had a flashback to when the kids were small and throwing a tantrum in the supermarket because they weren’t getting what they wanted.
‘For Christ’s sake, Lila, of course I don’t love you. That’s not what this ever was. It was danger, a bit of excitement. Did you really think I was going to divorce my wife and show up athospital dinners with a young blonde, looking like the poster boy for a midlife bloody crisis? I’d have been a bloody laughing stock.’
That was Bernadette’s answer right there. It was vanity. While some might think that having a beautiful young trophy wife was an ego boost, Kenneth wasn’t cut from that cloth. His mother, the old crone, hadn’t believed in divorce and she’d drummed into him the importance of reputation and perception. Thus, he ate in the right restaurants. Courted the right alliances. There was absolutely no way that he would allow his career, his reputation or his standing in the community to be tainted by a scandalous affair or by people pointing fingers and perceiving him as a silly old fool with a hot bit of stuff on his arm. This was all about him. His vanity. His pride. His narcissism.
She had never hated him more.
Her thoughts were halted by a whimper from Lila, who was staring at him, eyes blazing, enraged by his words.
‘You don’t mean that! Is that why you like me to tell you what underwear I’m wearing every day? Is that why you fucked me at the hotel this afternoon? Is that why you let me suck your dick on your desk before surgery?’
‘Eeeeeew!’ Stuart and Nina reacted in perfect sync.
Bernadette realised it was time to intervene.
‘Lila!’ she exclaimed, loud enough to shock her to her senses. As soon as she was mute, Bernadette continued, using years of training in de-escalation and handling hysteria. ‘I can see he’s hurt you, and trust me I know what he’s capable of, so here’s what I’m going to do.’
Lila was looking at her now, and Bernadette could see she was close to unravelling. Poor woman. If anyone did this to her Nina she’d have their balls for it.
‘I’m going to tell you where all this stands right now and then I’m going to leave you to it.’
Lila’s face was shadowed by wariness.
‘I haven’t loved him for longer than I can remember. He’s an arrogant, controlling, vile specimen of a man… sorry kids, but it’s true… And I wouldn’t wish him on anyone. Every night since my children here were small, I’ve gone to bed and prayed he wouldn’t be there when I woke up. He always was. He could have left me at any point. Nina and Stuart have been out of the house for a long time, ten years in Nina’s case, and yet, still Kenneth is here. That should tell you something about his intentions. As for me, I’ve finally had enough. I told him tonight I was leaving him and I am. When I walk out of that door it will be for the last time, and I’m never, ever, coming back because he’s a despicable human being. What you decide to do with that information is up to you. I can’t think why any woman would want him because, trust me, what you see is not what you get. It sounds like he’s been mistreating you and lying to you for years, and I promise you that will continue. He cares nothing about anyone but himself. He won’t give you a shred of tenderness or care. And it’ll be no time at all until you’re lying there, same way as I have, praying that you were with anyone but him. That said, if you ignore everything I’ve told you, and pursue him anyway, then hell mend you, you were warned. The moment I walk out of here will be one of the happiest of my life. And by the way, when I told him tonight that I was leaving, he begged me – absolutely begged me – to stay with him. I’ve been with the man for thirty years and I know every bit of him. If you’re arrogant enough to think you can change him, then…’ She looked at Lila, looked at Kenneth, ‘… then you two deserve each other. I’ve got nothing else tosay. Goodnight. Kenneth, you lying, cheating bastard. Have a good life.’
With that, Bernadette Manson strutted out of her old life, with her children behind her and her dignity, self-esteem and sheer bloody zest for life restored.
And as she’d promised herself every time she’d thought about this moment, she didn’t look back.
32
Lila
‘You bitch.’
Lila stared at him, horrified, stunned into silence.
‘You absolute bitch,’ he repeated, just in case she hadn’t quite caught him the first time.
An unstoppable wave of nausea rose from her twisted gut, and she buckled over and vomited right there on his hall carpet.
