‘What the hell are you doing here?’
Oh he didn’t sound pleased. Was it wrong that there was something comforting in the fact that she wouldn’t be the one who would have to deal with him like this anymore?
‘Dad, this woman claims she’s your girlfriend. I’m sure there’s a really good reason for this and I can’t wait to hear it.’ Kenneth’s fury might just be matched by the quieter, but every bit as forceful anger in Nina’s voice.
Bernadette snuck a glance at the incongruous sight before her, still shivering, despite the heat of the Fair Isle cardigan her mother had bought Kenneth for Christmas two years ago. He had moaned that the one she’d bought him the year before had brought his neck out in a rash, and when she’d heard this, she bought him another one exactly the same. In hindsight, Bernadette could see that this was her mother making amischievous point, but at the time she’d thought it was just a coincidence.
Anyway, back to the new arrival. Fair play to her, she wasn’t shrinking back from Kenneth’s outrage. And my word, she was beautiful. Absolutely stunning. Like one of those pageant queens that want to save the world and cure disease and famine in a bikini.
Kenneth didn’t answer Nina’s question, instead directing his words squarely at… at… Lila. Yep, that was her name. Lila.
‘What the hell are you thinking? Why? Why would you come here?’
Rage. Disbelief. Exasperation. Irritation. Frustration. It was all there in every vowel and consonant.
‘Because I can’t let her do this to you anymore. Ken, I know you didn’t want me to do this, but it’s time you put yourself first. You can’t keep putting their happiness before your own.’
Bernadette was fairly sure that she, Nina, and Stuart were now sporting absolutely identical expressions of astonishment.
Then, the strangest thing. She heard laughter. Belly-aching, contagious, absolutely uncontrollable laughter. It took a moment for her to realise that it was coming from her and everyone’s gaze of disbelief was now focussed in her direction.
‘Oh come on – him put our happiness first,’ she spluttered through the giggles, as she wiped away tears of mirth. It must be the stress of the day. It had all bottled up and now it was coming out as pure hysteria. This was why people laughed at funerals. Same thing.
‘Mum, I think…’
Bernadette was folded over now, holding on to her sides. She put her hand up. ‘No, no I’m fine. Let Lila speak. I can’t wait…’ she dissolved into giggles again.
‘Jesus Christ, Bernadette!’ Kenneth raged.
That set her off again.
‘I think we’re going to have to have her sedated,’ Stuart said.
Bernadette’s hand flew up again. ‘No, no, I’m fine.’ She said again, clearing her throat. ‘All good. Under control.’
The others eyed her sceptically, but she held it together. This was outrageous. Unbelievable.
‘Let Lila speak,’ she repeated, meeting the other woman’s horrified stare. That was almost enough to set her off again, but she managed to summon every ounce of discipline she possessed to keep a straight face.
Kenneth took the opportunity to have another rant. ‘I’m not standing here, listening to…’
‘Shut up, Kenneth!’ Again Bernadette heard the sound, then realised a split second later that it had come from her. Well, well, well. It had taken thirty years but she had finally found the balls to shut him down. Somewhere inside her, her ego was doing a celebratory conga. ‘You’re his girlfriend,’ Bernadette said, like a police officer repeating the facts to a witness. ‘For how long?’
‘Bernadette!’
‘Kenneth, shut up. The lady is speaking. Go on dear.’
Lila paused, as if this wasn’t playing out the way she expected and she was unsure as to how to proceed.
Eventually, she found her voice, and – all credit to her, Bernadette thought – there was still an edge of courage and defiance in there.
‘Seven years.’
‘Holy fuck.’ Nina this time. ‘You’ve been shagging my dad for seven years?’
‘It’s not just shagging. I’velovedhim for seven years. He loves me too.’
‘For Christ’s sake.’ That was Kenneth.
