Callum chuckles before paying, both of us just deciding to split my order of butter chicken and naan. He carries the food, and I carry our water bottles as we walk down the boardwalk to find a spot overlooking the bay. We find an unoccupied bench and take our time eating as the light streaks golden to pink.
We comfortably eat from the same container and when we both reach for the same piece of chicken at the same time, we playfully declare a fork war. Battling it out, he yields, and I chew it victoriously. Callum laughs at me being ridiculous, and I bask in the lightness of the moment after an anxious morning.
"Sunrise or sunset?" Callum asks me, taking a bite of naan.
"Sunrise," I reply without hesitation. "I'm more of a morning person anyway. There's a certain stillness in the early mornings that I like. The way the sky just slowly gets lighter and lighter feels kind of… hopeful to me. Is that cheesy?"
Callum’s face shifts at my words, his expression tender. My cheeks heat in response, and I take a bite of food, just for something to do.
"No, it’s not cheesy. I can agree with the sentiment," he says, chewing thoughtfully. "But I really like sunsets."
He smiles, kind of dreamily, and I follow his gaze out towardthe edge of the sky.
"I must've gotten it from my mom," he adds, voice softer now, "but there's just something about watching the day gently fade away. It, uh..." He pauses, a little sheepish. "Sunsets always remind me ofThe Outsiders.I really loved that book."
"'Stay gold, Ponyboy,'" I quote with a soft laugh, turning my head to look at him. His brown eyes are already on me, and he’s smiling. "That’s one of my favorite books."
The silence that stretches between us isn't awkward or uncomfortable. It doesn’t need to be filled, so we don't. We keep eating as we watch the sun dip, our shoulders brushing every so often.
"I think there's something so beautifully sad about that poem, though," I keep my voice as soft as I can, not wanting to disrupt this moment.
"Nothing Gold Can Stay?" Callum clarifies, and I nod, not taking my eyes off the horizon.
"Reminding us that precious moments and beauty and...peopledon't last forever. To stop and appreciate them with the time you have, to enjoylifewhile you can..."
My voice catches as the feelings rush in at once, emotion tightening my throat. There’s gratitude for this moment, for the sunset and this wonderful friend next to me, and the meal we shared. There’s fear, from the cells that live inside me now, actively trying to kill me. There’s anxiety about the future, the tomorrows ahead and how many I'll actually get...
Just months ago, I was planning a completely different life. This version I'm in now never even crossed my mind, not even in my worst nightmares.
Callum's eyes are on me again, weighted like a thick blanket. There’s an expression on his face that reads understanding, andI honestly think he might. He doesn't try to fill the silence with meaningless reassurances or bright-side platitudes.
He doesn't fill the space with false hope.
He juststays.
He's staying,my heart whispers in awe.
The sun finally dips below the edge of the world, bleeding orange and violet across the sky. I draw in a slow, trembling breath, needing this moment to stretch out,just a little while longer. I would live in this moment if I could.
"I think… that's the most important and beautiful thing," I whisper finally. "It forces us to really stop and appreciate. To take a moment and breathe and look around."
A warmth envelops my hand, and I already know it's his. A little rough and callused, butsowarm and strong. I flip my hand so we're palm to palm now, fingers lacing together as a slow, pulsing current travels up my arm.
The world goes silent, no distant hum from the boardwalk, no cars, nothing but peace. It feels like it’s just us in the whole world, and it may as well be.
We stay like that for a while, long past the sun disappearing below the horizon.
And somehow, my wish for this moment to stretch just a little longer is granted.
Chapter Thirteen
Paul
September
Elise's naked body is curled into mine while she sleeps. I'm still in her bed, in her apartment, where I've been for the last couple of weeks. Around me, the furniture feels nothing like the cozy, cluttered warmth of my old place with Sophie. I keep telling myself it just needs time. Some space. Distance from the life I blew up.I'm happier here,I repeat, over and over.
This is for the best.
