My cheeks burn from the desire and reverence dripping fromhis rumbling voice before I squeeze his hands and we both turn to a waiting and amused Tonya.
She clears her throat dramatically and opens,“Mawwiage..."
Laughter erupts at her very dead-on impression, and Callum groans while muttering. “I knew you were going to do it.”
I giggle and squeeze Callum’s hands, seeing his mouth curving into a very happy smile.
Tonya smirks triumphantly.“Mawwiage is what bwings us togeder today.”
I think it hits me at that moment.
We’re getting married.
Overwhelmed with affection and with tears pooling in my eyes, I mouth to Callum, ‘I love you.’
His gaze softens, and he lifts my hand to his mouth, kissing it before he replies,‘I love you.’
Tonya clears her throat again, trying to pretend she is serious. “Okay, I’m done. We are gathered here today..."
Callum cried when he first saw me. He cries through his vows with a trembling voice. He cries again when Tonya finally declares us husband and wife, then loudly calls out, “What are you waiting for? Kiss your wife, Callum!”
Without another word, Callum wraps his arms around me and dips me back like in an old romantic movie, and kisses me deeply as our family cheers loudly for us.
Tonya announces, proudly and with unmistakable joy, “I now present Mr. and Mrs. Rhodes..."
Now, a couple of hours later, the sun has set, and the lights above us and the lights from our house keep the world bathed in a warm glow. I’m wrapped up in the arms of my husband—my husband!—as we stand under our Maple and watch our family dance together, laugh together, and celebrate.
“Are you happy, Mrs. Rhodes?” Callum murmurs in my ear, pressing a kiss to my temple.
I’m buzzed, I’m full of good food and cake, I’m with my friends and family.
I am safe. I am cherished. I am adored.
I’m married to Callum.
“I’m your wife. I’m the happiest girl in the world, Mr. Rhodes.”
???
May
“So, how have you been? Anything new or concerning that you want to talk about?”
Dr. Ramirez helps me guide back, placing my feet into the stirrups and scooting back further on the paper-covered table. She grabs a soft and warm blanket and tosses it over my lap to give me a little warmth. This paper gown offers no warmth in this freezing exam room.
It’s my annual checkup, and another year without a baby.
Callum always eases my worries, constantly telling me that he’s happy with it being just us two, that a baby would only add to our family, not complete it. But it doesn’t stop the jealousy and longing that burns me whenever I hold Bailey’s adorable baby girl, Angelina. Or Jane and Atticus’s son, Forrest. Or when Bailey and Michael’s oldest, Mateo, runs over to me yelling, “Aunt Sophie!”
Or when I dream of Callum holding a baby with my eyes and wake up sobbing when I realize it’s not real. Callum just holds me through it, gently rocking me in his lap and whispering how much he loves me. And I love him, still, even all these years later. I love him more than anything on this earth, and our life is so wonderful.
Callum and I have been married for almost four years now. I’ve been free and clear of cancer for five years, and stoppedtaking my chemotherapy pill two years ago under Dr. Rajab’s approval. After I stopped taking the pill, we decided to just not take any measures to prevent a pregnancy. I stopped my birth control, having switched from the copper IUD to the pill, and Callum and I have a healthy sex life, so it should have happened by now.
But it hasn’t, and I don’t think that it will.
I wouldn’t trade Callum for anything, including a baby, so our next step we could look into adoption or IVF, as Claire had spoken to me about before. She had dealt with infertility with her previous marriage, but her doctors had concluded that it was most likely an issue with her husband, not herself, as she was able to conceive her twin boys relatively easily with Grant. She had even offered to fund the rather expensive treatments, and while I thanked her greatly, I told her we would look into other options first.
She did give me great advice, though, to keep faith and hope alive, and to always remember that Callum loves me for more than my babymaking ability.
