"Her."
Steve studies me intently before looking me up and down as if I’m nothing more than a pesky insect. "Her. Well… Then that’s settled."
Although I can tell this isn’t the end for him, I reach for the steel door. "Good. Now get the hell out of here. I never want to see you again."
THIRTY-FOUR
COLE
The decision to turn my back on Steve and the fights may have been rash, but it was only a matter of time before I quit. Or die in the ring.
Yeah, I thought I deserved to get my face punched in over and over again. And yeah, it was also nice to take some of that anger out on my opponents. But if I were honest with myself, I would admit that it fucked me up. My anger and hatred for myself were simply stronger than my instinct for self-preservation, and at the same time, I was numbed by the pain from the outside. But that ends here.
I might not know what I’ll do instead, but I have more than enough savings. Something will turn up. Maybe it’ll even be something legal this time. Who knows?
Since it’s already late, I order us something from an Asian place, once again opening up an entirely new world for Sophie. She devours the wontons and mini spring rolls, having quickly set the chopsticks aside because they were too complicated for her, and lets out a soft, sensual hum every now and then.
Seeing that even such a simple meal is a real adventure for her distracts me from what happened before. Let Steve and his henchmen come for me if they want. As long as I can keep Sophie out of it, I’ll deal with them somehow.
Well… At least that’s what I try to tell myself.
After taking Buster out one last time, I lock the steel door and have to grin when I reach the top of the stairs.
Sophie is curled up on the couch, fast asleep, even though the TV she turned on is still blaring.
I keep forgetting how exciting all of this must be for her. She’s been away from home for less than a week now and has already fired a gun, seen an illegal underground fight, and had her first kiss, just to name a few events. I suspect that anyone would be exhausted experiencing all of this for the first time in such a short period.
I hang Buster’s leash over the stair railing and take off my boots before walking over to Sophie. When I carefully slide my arms under her body to lift her up and carry her to bed, she lets out a soft sigh and snuggles into me.Again.
It’s still a mystery to me how she can put so much trust in me. But maybe Jules is right. Maybe Sophie sees more than just the criminal, tattooed bastard that I am. And I can no longer deny that I like that.
I push open the door to her room with my shoulder and am about to lay her on the bed when she mutters something unintelligible.
"Go back to sleep, darling," I whisper, but she presses herself tighter against my chest and clings to my shirt.
"Can I sleep in your bed?" she murmurs. "Please?"
I’m going to hell. No doubt about it. Because I don’t even hesitate for three seconds before straightening myself up again and carrying her back to the living room. When I reach my bed,I gently lay her down on the mattress and pull the blanket over her.
As I rise, Sophie opens her eyes a tiny bit, snuggling into the pillows at the same time. "Aren’t you coming to bed?"
She looks like an angel. Her brown hair spills over my pillow, while her lips are twisted into a slight pout. Her eyes look at me, uncertain and longing at the same time.
It takes all my fucking self-control for me not to instantly lie down with her and kiss those soft lips until, at least for the moment, I forget everything around us. But Sophie doesn’t deserve to be ambushed like this again, so I back away from her and the sweet oblivion she could offer. "I’ll stay awake for a little longer."
She gives a slight nod and closes her eyes, probably falling back to sleep immediately.
I turn away, walk to the couch, and drop onto the cushions. My head is pounding, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to sleep anyway. Especially not next to Sophie.
Goddammit… The last time she lay in bed with me, I was just too drunk to even think about touching her. But now I’m stone sober. And because I’ve already poured enough into myself over the past days, I’m going to keep my hands off the Jack today, so an uncomfortable night on the couch awaits me, but I don’t mind.
Even though the damn couch might be fine when drunk, it is way too small to sleep comfortably on when I’m sober, so I ended up going to bed after all, leaving as much space between Sophie and me as possible. But when I wake up and inhale the scent of eucalyptus, I immediately know that she’s too fucking closeto me again. One of my arms is wrapped around her while her body is nestled against mine. It’s as if she’s trying to hide from the world against my chest. Each of her warm breaths can be felt through the fabric of my shirt, reaching not only my skin but also my soul.
I don’t have the slightest idea what this new day may bring, but I also don’t give a fuck right now. I just want to savor this moment because it seems too precious to me. Too peaceful. Too beautiful. I don’t even care if I burn in hell until the end of time.
I must have dozed off again because when I open my eyes, I immediately look into the amber of Sophie’s irises. I literally sink into it until I do something really fucking stupid. I let my hand slide into her hair, close my eyes again, and place my lips on hers.
She moans softly, but returns the kiss and lets her fingertips wander over my chest. Small and delicate and completely innocent, they stroke the fabric of my shirt and make me forget what’s right and what’s wrong.
