Finally, he turns around so I can look into the silver that has followed me everywhere for so many weeks. I can look at the hard features that never scared me, and at the lips that I miss so painfully on mine.
Cole stares at me with a blank expression, and I can literally feel him slipping away. I can see it in his eyes. He tries with all his might to push me away, but I won’t let him do it again.
I circle the table and approach him. He watches me closely until I stop in front of him and meet his gaze with urgency. "You’re not going to leave me like this.Not again."
I’m not shedding any more tears. Over the past few days, I’ve cried enough. Now I’m just incredibly angry because he’s giving up and taking the decision away from meagain.I will not allow him to do that. There were so many things in my life that I just let happen. But this… I’m not going to give this up without a fight. Not him. Not us.
As he tries to turn away again, I raise my hand and place it against his cheek in a firm grip to stop him. "Don’t you dare, Cole. Don’t youdareleave me again."
He freezes, looking at me silently, and I can see everything in his eyes all at once.Everything. The brokenness and the guilt. The pain and the self-loathing. The grief and the fear. Every single emotion strikes me through his stormy grays, but I focus on just one. Focus on the one that makes everything else irrelevant. On the only thing I need from him that counts: the love.
After an endless minute, he finally speaks, the barely audible words almost breaking my heart. "I can’t, little darling. I don’t know how to do it."
Seeing that he has run out of strength, I tighten my shoulders and stay strong. "You can and you will."
Before he can say anything back, I wrap my arms around his neck, stand on my tiptoes, and finally place my lips on his.
"Miss, no tou?—"
Mr. Eliander interrupts the guard in an unusually harsh voice. "Oh, be quiet. This man is innocent, dammit."
I pay no further attention to him and also ignore the officer who shifts uneasily from one foot to the other, unsure whether he should intervene. All I focus on are Cole’s warm lips againstmine and his arms that are finally lifting me up and pressing me against him.
"What are you doing, darling?"
He desperately mumbles the words against my mouth, but I immediately silence him again by continuing to kiss him.
He still smells like Cole. Of leather, tobacco, and campfire. And even though I know he can’t have had a single drop in days, I taste the whiskey as our tongues touch. He’s exactly as I remembered him. He’s everything I could ever dream of and need.
Breathing heavily, I break the kiss and press my forehead against his, keeping my eyes closed. "Take back the confession. Please. I need you out there. I need youwith me," I plead softly so only he can hear. "Jules and you, you’re all I have. So please come back."
When he says nothing back, I lift my eyelids to look at him. Pain is written all over his face, and as a tear runs down his cheek, I want to stop the world for him.
"Come back," I beg one more time and kiss the tear away, hoping to also take away the suffering he has burdened himself with in such a barbaric and, above all, pointless way.
Finally, he lifts his gaze and looks me in the eye. I don’t know what he’ll do. I can’t tell if I’ve managed to reach him, or if he’s already lost.
Eventually, he shakes his head slightly. "You’ll never listen to me, will you?"
My heart already wants to cry out because I think he’s putting me down, but then he keeps talking, raising his voice.
"Officer, I need to make a statement," he explains, keeping his gaze locked on mine. "And I need to make itright now."
That’s when the tears come. Everything in me breaks open as I realize that he’ll take back his statement. That I haven’tlosthim. That the man I love will come back to me.
It turns out that it’s easier to arrest someone than to release him back into freedom. Even more so if he confessed to something he did not do at all.
Mr. Eliander, who had indeed dropped Cole as a client, provided us with the contact information of a colleague who specializes in cases like this. Although the procedure was still lengthy, it ultimately proved successful.
Cole’s release was ordered, the investigation was discontinued, and all charges were dropped. The psychologist with whom I had to talk for hours also contributed significantly, as she was able to confirm that I was fully sane and that I had not been forced or harmed by Cole in any way.
However, I have not seen my mother since the day we went to the police station. I only called her once to tell her I wouldn’t be coming back. She was devastated, but I just couldn’t get over the fact that she had coldly handed Cole over. I don’t know if we’ll ever have a good relationship again, or a relationship at all. And although it hurts that I may have lost my mother, it was still the right decision for me.
So it’s finally over.
It’s the day of Cole’s release, and I stand in the middle of his warehouse loft, looking around, until I say what I’ve been thinking all morning. "He’s going to hate it."
"Bullshit," Jules firmly objects. "He’ll be delighted."
