“No, no, no. Not here. Not like this,” he said, shaking his head.
I frowned. Was he not as into me as I was into him? Did this not mean the same thing for him as it did me? The questions taunted me as I sat up and pulled my knees into my chest and hugged them close. I didn’t mean to, but without thinking, I blurted out, “Do you just not like me…that way?” We had made out so many times in this very same spot, I just assumed it would eventually lead to the next thing. You know, us doing “it” like everyone else.
Ruin’s expression changed, his brow creased, and he huffed. “Oh, Avalee.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, then brought his hands together as if in prayer. “It is not like that.” The way he emphasized “not” made me relax a touch. Maybe my head was getting ahead of itself.
He worked his mouth a second then glanced back up at the stars, as if he was trying to find exactly what he wanted to say next. Before he spoke, he pulled me in for a hug, and I rested my head against his solid chest. The soft lub-dub of his heart greeted me, along with the sounds of him taking a deep breath and swallowing hard. Whatever he was about to say, it was clearly something he was struggling to put words to. My own heart leaped into my throat. Maybe he was about to dump me. Maybe I was just a little girl, more friend or sister than lover. I prepared myself in the event my heart would be shattered into a million pieces.
“I want you so bad it hurts. Literally,” he chuckled, and his Adam’s apple bounced above my head. “I want every bit of you. All of you. But I also respect you, and I want to honor your virtue.”
I snorted, knowing he was referring to my name. Good play on words there, Ruin. Good play.
“And because I respect you, I also respect your dad and your family. I don’t want to mess up the one amazing part of my life—which is you,” he said, pulling back to look down at me. I glanced up and smiled, kissing him on the lips. “Besides, I want to save it for when we are married. That way, we can ‘do it’ proper.”
I busted out into laughter, covering my mouth with my hand. He was always making me laugh, sometimes hard enough my gut hurt and I had to stop before I peed myself.
“Well, it will be a few years, then. My father isn’t going to say yes if you ask for permission for my hand tomorrow,” I added.
Ruin went silent, staring off into the night.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“No, tell me. What is it?”
He inhaled and then cursed under his breath. “I’m just afraid I’ll never be good enough for you. At least, not in your dad’s eyes. Plus, I can’t afford a ring that’s even worthy enough for you to wear. But I am going to work and scrape until I can afford that ring. Maybe then, your dad will look past my name and see that I will never hurt you.”
“Ruin,” I said, tears springing to my eyes. “I love you,” I said.
In reply, he dipped his head and kissed me as tears slipped down my cheeks. His thumb slid across my cheek, brushing them away. With his forehead pressed against mine, he whispered, “Come on. It’s getting late.”
He stood and stretched, then bent to help me fold up the blanket. Hand in hand, we left the tree and headed for the road that weaved back to my home. Toads croaked in the pond to our right, and the katydids seemed to serenade us as we laughed and chatted. It was the most perfect evening with the most incredible boyfriend I ever could have asked for. He was my best friend, and I didn’t want the night to ever end.
We paused when we heard a soft rumble from behind, and headlights illuminated our backs. Ruin and I scooted off the road to be out of the way since neither of us was wearing anything remotely reflective. Another car crested the hill from the other direction, so we waited. The first car’s engine roared as the driver must have floored it before swerving right in front of the car coming down the hill. A loud bang filled our ears as the cars collided, and the second car rolled and crunched its way toward the calm pond.
“Oh my god!” I said, covering my mouth with a hand, too shocked to react otherwise.
Ruin stiffened beside me as we watched in absolute horror. The second car never slowed from its barrel roll and hit the water with a loud plunk. As it was sinking, steam poured from the hood, and bubbles emerged on its descent.
I shook and raked my fingers through my hair, not sure what I should or even could do to help. A door creaked open from the opposite vehicle, drawing my attention away from the wreckage at the pond. And I heard a man’s voice curse loudly before the shadowed figure turned and fled into the woods.
“Hey, get the hell back here!” Ruin yelled. He was tense and looked ready to pursue the fleeing shadow, but he kept turning his head back to the car slowly disappearing into the murky water. After a moment, he stopped and put his hands on my shoulders, giving me a soft shake since I was trembling all over.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded, my teeth chattering as the nerves and shock raced up and down my spine, sending a weird tingling to my toes.
“Avalee, listen to me,” he said, his voice as calm as the still waters from before. “Can you get home from here by yourself?” he asked.
I nodded again. My mouth and brain couldn’t seem to sync up well enough for me to form any sort of a tangible reply besides a nod or a shake of my head.
“Good.” He kissed my forehead and began undoing his pants as he simultaneously kicked off his shoes and socks. He looked back over his shoulder at me. “Go home. Get help. Call me later, okay?”
“Ruin?” I whispered, my brain finally catching up.
“Go, Avalee. I got this. But I can’t help that driver until I know you are away from here and safe. Got it?”
“Okay. But, Ruin?”
