With heavy lids, he grins down at me and kisses my cheeks, nose, and forehead. Another long look and kiss later, he slides out from between my legs and rolls over onto his back, releasing a long sigh.
I lie there, staring up at the ceiling for a moment, my body feeling much like what I imagine Jell-O feels like from the waist down. And something else. I feel lighter and energized. Rolling over to prop my head up with my hand and elbow, I place my other hand on his chest, drawing a circle in the center. Below my hand, I feel his heart pound a beat.
“Wow,” I say after we cuddle in the quiet for several minutes.
“Yeah. Wow is right,” he says.
He closes his eyes and, within minutes, is fast asleep. He’s cute as he sleeps, looking peaceful and content, and not like he is about to stomp someone’s face in for looking at me the wrong way.
I think back to when we were teens, lying out under the stars on blankets. We came so close to doing exactly what we just did, but like so many times in our lives, we were interrupted. My smile wrinkles my eyes as I slowly drift off, thinking about a hot summer, a hot boyfriend, and a missed opportunity.
Twenty
Avalee
past
Ruin’s fingertipsdusted beneath the bare skin at my rib cage. A shudder raced through my veins. It was getting harder to control my body’s reaction to him. I hung on his every word, lived and breathed for his crooked grin and mischievous chuckle.
We were lying under a huge sycamore, staring up at the vast night sky. Stars twinkled, and every now and again, a shooting star would seem to brush its light across the sky before sizzling out of existence.
“Do you think they’re spirits?” Ruin asked. He cradled his head in one hand, the other switching between holding mine and caressing my fingers.
I shrugged and rolled over on my side to face him. He turned to match me and brushed my hair behind my left ear. “I don’t know about spirits or any of that. Daddy always talks about how God made everything in the universe absolutely perfect. I think he might lose his head if I asked questions like ‘Are stars spirits?’ But then again, maybe he could find a way to turn it into some biblical lesson.”
Ruin ran his fingers down my exposed arm, sending a tingle across my skin and down my back. It wasn’t too long ago that I’d thought I was only a friend to him—more like a little sister than a love interest. I mean, we’d come a long way from skipping stones behind the church. I might only be sixteen, but I felt like he was the one I wanted to grow old with. I knew it was probably too soon, and most would say I was too young to be thinking like that. But Ruin got me. He always had. And he had never hurt me. If anything, he’d only ever tried to make me happy and to protect me.
That was why I lo—loved him.
“Avalee,” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
“How did I get so lucky?”
A fire burned into my cheeks, down my throat, and kept traveling.
“I would die for you. You know that, right?”
“Well, don’t worry. I’ll never ask you to.” I grinned and leaned into him for a kiss. Our lips met and parted for our tongues to explore each other.
Ruin pulled away, the taste of his lips still lingering on mine and leaving me greedy for more. “That’s the thing, though. You wouldn’t have to. You’re like the other half of me—our souls are mixed with the same ingredients. You wouldn’t even have to call for me because I would know.”
“Like Beetlejuice?” I grinned. “If I need you, I only have to say your name out loud three times?”
“Better than Beetlejuice. I’ll defend your honor, not tarnish it. So many people are out to tear others down in this world. I only want to lift you up, Virtue Avalee Sumter.”
“Mm, you make me want to kiss you.”
“What’s stopping you?” His palms pressed at my bare skin before he dotted a kiss at the bend of my neck.
“This ridiculously virtuous boy I know…” My heart skipped with every passing second, and before I knew it, I was on my back, sprawled out across the blanket—Ruin between my legs, pressing hard against me. Lust filled me with blinding desire, and I arched my back, trying to pull him in closer. Like, if I could just make myself one with him, then I would feel as if I was whole. He was the one piece that completed my puzzle.
He deepened the kiss, his hands roving over my body and stopping on my breasts. Each touch was gentle but strong. I moaned and nipped at his ear, out of breath and ready to take the next step. He seemed ready, very ready. So, this had to be the next stage of our relationship. I knew all of my friends had been—for at least a year, if not longer now—intimate with their boyfriends. It just felt like this was the right time. Right there, hidden under cover of night and the flowing branches of the sycamore.
The ground was cold under my bottom despite the blanket, but there seemed to be enough heat between us to warm an entire home. A soft breeze carried the scent of a nearby barbecue, smoky with hints of cedar and coal, only adding to the gooseflesh my tank-topped arms held.
I reached down to unbutton my jeans, and Ruin grunted then pulled back with a light laugh, stopping my hands with his own. I couldn’t see his full expression, but the moonlight illuminated enough for me to make out the cheeky grin on his face.
