“You didn’t ask me?”
“You’d locked yourself in our bedroom for days, what was I supposed to do?”
I thought of the letter from my mother, Tav’s insistence that this was my mother’s fault. The threatening messages from a burner phone in Alexandra.
“I don’t believe you.” He arched an eyebrow. “I think you’re lying.” I spit defiantly.
“My dad finally ended it with your mom not because he wanted to, but because he had to. Your mom was already under surveillance then, she was on a watch list, and she only grew more bitter the more his prominence in Washington rose. She finally found a way to wedge herself back into his life, she was willing to use anything to get his attention again, even if it meant lying. When she made the decision to write a book and go on a national radio show and talk about how men in powerful positions use their access to violate and manipulate women sexually,” Tav shook his head, “dad’s hands were tied.”
“Tied?”
“She had too much access to his past, was too much of a liability. Don’t you see, Frey, if the man is going to get elected, he can have a few skeletons in the closet, but they have to be squeaky clean. Your mom was giving talks and readings of her book at local bookstores and talked about donating the money to local women’s shelters like some reformed do-gooder. She became a Goddamn hero in that city, it was only a matter of time before the news broke that the man she’d had an affair with was a senator.”
“N-no…” I thought of the investigator's words about some details of my mother’s death being inconsistent with an accident. “No, you...you did this? You took my mom from me?”
Tav shook his head. “Of course not.”
“But you know who did?”
“I don’t.”
“But you knew it was going to happen? Her accident was planned?”
Tav’s eyes held mine. “Your mother talked about running for local office.”
“She was a hippie psychotherapist that hated politics, what are you talking about?”
Tav shook his head. “She started a new life in California, Frey, a life she never told you about.”
I thought of the dozens of photos pinned to the wall, her smile warm and inviting in all of them. Tears leaked from my eyelashes. “No.”
“Talking too much put her at risk.”
“No…” the slow realization that my mother was murdered overcame me. “No, no, no!”
“And you were next, Frey. Don’t you see? I saved your life when I brought you to the top of that mountain.”
Thirty-Seven
“I did my best to save you, you were just too damn stubborn to see it. Now you’ve gone and forced the hand. I tried to warn your mom, hell, I tried so many times with messages and letters and anything I could think of, but she just wouldn’t shut up. She could never let the past stay buried.”
“I can’t believe my entire life has been a lie.”
“Not all of it. I’ve loved you from the beginning.” He ran his thumb along my cheekbone. “Isn’t it reassuring? We’re more connected than we even knew.”
“Don’t touch me.” I wrenched away from the man I’d nearly married. “You lied to me!”
“Listen, I fought with dad for weeks over this. You and me are too complicated, a reporter would only have had to scratch the surface and they would have found the connection between us. You were the last clue to handle.”
“T-the last clue?” My hands shook. “You’re a psycho, Tav. Do you hear yourself? You’ve been following me since I was a kid. You tried to lock me away on top of a mountain and I’m afraid to ask what you did or didn’t do when it came to my mom’s accident… You could go to jail for this.”
Tav shook his head, cocky grin turning his lips again. “How? I left everything to you, Freya. How can I lock you in a house that you own? A car at the base of the mountain left for you? I warned your mother that she was tangling with a beast she couldn’t control, she chose not to listen. Where’s the crime? My only fault is loving you too much. I bought you the perfect paradise and now you’ve thrown it in my face over a cheap lover’s quarrel? Imagine the field day the media would have with that story. Imagine how they would twist your truth around to sell copies of their newspapers and clicks on their ads. Your addiction to the pills has reached another level, Frey.” He dipped close, lips at my cheek. “You’re acting so crazy you might need another stay at the treatment center. Don’t play the part of the scorned woman like your mother did, we were about to have a baby together. And then the tragedy of losing your mother stole the future from us. We were about to be married, Frey, if anything different comes out now, no one will believe you. The story has been set in motion.” His smile turned superficially pleasant. “After all, the medical records prove my side of the story. We break up and I give you a house as a parting gift and you retaliate bitterly like this? Can’t you see my hands were tied, there was no other way. Politics is like being at the top of that mountain, it’s kill or be killed. Hiding you up there was the only thing I could think to do to keep you safe, at least for now.”
“For now?” I seethed. “I thought we had the perfect life, but it was the perfect lie.”
Tav’s hands cupped my cheeks. “I’m sorry it ended this way. I do love you.” He leaned in close, fingers clutching around my neck with a firm grip I wasn’t used to. “And really, Freya?” He caught my earlobe with his teeth, tone seething.“The lawn guy?”
Thirty-Eight
