“My earliest memory is of my mom and dad fighting overyou.”
“What are you talking about?” I spit.
“My dad always kept other women. Your mother was his favorite.”
“H-his favorite?” I gulped, a ball of angry tears clawing at my throat.
“My mother kept track, kept them under wraps, made sure they wouldn’t be a problem for his political career. She had her own dalliances too, but it was his that was the problem. Mom drank too much wine on the nights dad came home and instead of family bonding, they fought while I hid out in my room playing video games. The insults I heard them hurl at each other were far more vicious than the curses the other guys in the game used. Sometimes, escaping reality is the only way forward, but I’m sure you know that by now, huh Frey?”
I hated my name on his lips. I hated that he hadn’t told me any of this before now.
“My mother was convinced for a while thatyouwere my father’s bastard child. Your mom and my dad were sweethearts through all of high school, by the time my parents met in college, they’d gone their separate ways, but when dad ran for local legislature his profile grew. He spent more time in the city and doing townhalls across state lines. And he reconnected with your mom again. Mom suspected they were having an affair after I was born, by the time you came along and I was old enough to understand what they were saying...well, I knew I had to know the girl that was tearing my family apart. I hated you for a long time, Frey...until I saw you for the first time.”
My head ached with his admissions. Could I believe anything anymore? This man I’d trusted more than anyone else in my life was suddenly twisting all of my known memories upside down, shifting and interchanging my history like the pieces of a puzzle.
“You were dressed in your Sunday best, a white dress with tiny strawberries and red ribbons in your hair. You had so many freckles I knew you couldn’t be my dad’s kid—he passed on his dark olive skin to me and my brothers and sister, but you...you were fair and innocent. I knew how vicious he could be, I knew he would ruin you if your mom gave him the chance.”
I blinked back memories of hiding beneath a mattress, Chuck’s boots and the smell of whiskey in the air.
“I was fifteen the Sunday I borrowed a friend’s car and followed him to the next town. I couldn’t believe it when he pulled into a church parking lot, and then I saw you and your mom come down the steps. The way her face lit up when she saw him like she’d just been given the best surprise of her life. My mom’s face never lit up like that when dad came home, not even after being gone all week working in Alexandria.”
Alexandria.
I then remembered the investigator’s words over the phone about messages from a number in Alexandria. Had Tav’s father been working there all along? How had I missed that? And then I realized Tav had withheld that information from me on purpose. Tav was a senator’s son, and I was only collateral damage on the path to a political career for this family.
Just like my mom had been.
“I went every Sunday after that. Cringed as dad took pictures of this other family that wasn’t mine, while mom drank imported French wine and cried at home. I hated him, but it didn’t take me long to loveyou, Frey. I was so jealous of what you had with him for so long, I couldn't understand it and I craved it at the same time. At first I thought there must be something about you that made him like you more than us. I had to get to know you to figure it out, but I never had the guts to actually talk to you. I picked up your hair bow one time, it had little ice cream cones with sprinkles printed on it and it went flying as Bradley pushed you on the swings. You were laughing too hard to realize and left without finding it. I still have it. Well, I did.”
I struggled to remember all of the mementos pinned to the wall, many I had no memory of—they were Tav’s memories ofmylife.
“But why now? Why the photos?”
“I was so sick of living the lie, Frey. You thought you had such a close relationship with Bradley, but I’ve known you just as long. Our families have been connected even longer. My mother forced my father to take a blood test to prove his paternity. I have the paperwork, it’s negative, Freya. I don’t know who your real dad is, but I think my dad loved you like you might be his because of your mom...he...changedonce life in the senate got ahold of him.”
“Chuck—he stopped visiting my mom all of a sudden. I can’t believe...is Chuck your dad?” I wiped at my wet eyes as I thought of the months of worry and heartache that consumed her the last time he left for good. “She never said why, but it broke her. We moved right after that. I think that’s why she moved to California, she needed a new life and she never really found it after he left. I still can’t believe…”
Tav’s eyes were cold, assessing me with none of the tenderness of earlier. “He had to leave, just like I did. There was no other way.”
“You didn’thaveto do anything, what you should have done was tell me all of this the first time we met.” I slammed my eyes closed, thinking of our first official meeting in the art gallery. “I mean, at the gallery...it was all staged then?”
“No, I didn’t know you were going to be there, Frey. I let you live your life, I went to college and didn’t think twice, but when I saw you across the gallery I knew it was you. I could never forget you. The freckles and the dip of your neck.”
“You—you turned me into your own Sunday wife, Tav...” A shudder of disdain coiled in my stomach.
“No, that’s not what happened. If your mom wouldn’t have started thatme tooactivism shit none of this would have happened, I swear to you that. She knew my dad was in a powerful position now and she tried to leverage their past to ruin him. It was brutal, he’s done so much good to boil it all down to one shitty affair years ago…”
“What activism? My mom never said anything about what you’re saying.”
“Why would she? Can’t imagine explaining herself as a serial homewrecker to her daughter would rate too high on her list of priorities. She had evidence though, mountains of photos and letters, I had to clear it all after you bailed on the investigation.”
“B-bailed?”
“After you hung up on the investigator he called me, you gave him my number and told him to direct any questions through me. I handled all of the clean-up after your mother’s death, Frey, don’t tell me you don’t remember that either?”
“You never said anything...did you go to California without me?”
“The investigator needed someone and you weren’t in a position to go after losing the baby.”
