“Uh-huh.”
“I understand why you would hesitate to believe me, but I would never touch that girl. I was drunk, and I passed out on your sofa. That’s it.”
“Your shirt was off, and your pants were undone.”
“Yes, they were. I took a quick shower at your place and hadn’t put my shirt back on when I saw you. But I sure as hell didn’t touch her.” I look into her eyes. I need to know. “Stella, you avoided me the entire week after we made love. I thought you had changed your mind about me after that.”
“Me? I wasn’t avoiding you. That’s not how that happened. When we woke up the next morning, after we… you know, you could barely look at me. You didn’t try to touch me. You practically threw my clothes at me to get me out of there. What was I supposed to think? I’d never had sex with a guy to know what the protocol was the next morning.”
“I’m sorry, babe,” I plead.
“Do not call me ‘babe.’” Wow, I’ve never seen Stella this angry. “You don’t get to do that anymore.”
“I don’t?” Damn, that makes me feel like shit.
“And you said I had a… a…”—I watch her attempt to hold back tears—“f-f-fat u-ugly f-f-face.”
Holy hell, she’s shaking. I don’t know if she’s shaking with anger or sadness. What the hell do I do?
“Leave. That’s what you do.”
I guess I said that last part out loud.
“No, let me?—”
“Alex, please leave.”
“I can’t leave you, angel.”
“Nope, no ‘angel’ either. No ‘angel,’ no ‘babe,’ no ‘princess,’ and no ‘Pixie’! Just go. I can’t deal with this again. I can’t go through it again. I was starting to get back to normal. Now I have to start all over again. Fuck!”
I swear to all that is holy, I want to fix this. I want to pick her up and cradle her like a baby. So, that’s what I do. I reach down and pick her up and draw her to my chest. I turn and sit on her bed.
“Stop it, leave me alone. I’m too heavy. My fat, ugly face is going to break your legs.”
“Stop saying that, damn it. I was drunk. I was trying to say something, anything that would hurt you as much as you’d hurt me. That’s all. I love your face. It’s not fat, and it’s definitely not ugly. I told you. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I love your face, almost as much as I love you.”
Now I’m fucking crying. Jesus. I need to hand in my man card. But she’s worth losing it for. I don’t care. I love this girl. If something is meant to last, we’ll have to see each other at our best and at our worst. This is a worst, for sure. I lift her so she’s straddling my lap and pull her as close to my chest as I can as I wrap my arms around her. I hear her sniffle, but I don’t think she realizes I’m crying too. After a few minutes, I can tell she’s started to calm down a little bit. I reach up and move her hair from her beautiful face. That’s when she sees my tears.
“You’re crying?” she asks, looking surprised.
“Yes, I’m crying because our breakup could have been avoided if I had just talked to you that Sunday morning. And I’m crying because I love you and because the last weeks without you have been the worst of my life. I thought I’d lost you forever to Brad. I fell in love with you the second you wrapped your little arms around me, Stella. You make me feel like I can do anything as long as you’re with me. I can’t sleep without you. I’m so tired, ba—sorry.” I almost said “babe.” “I’m just so tired and lost without you.” Iamlost without her. Everything I said was the absolute truth. “God, Stella, I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”
“You are?”
“Yes, I am, ba—please, can I call you ‘babe’?”
“Okay,” she says hesitantly.
“What about ‘Pixie’?”
“Yeah.”
“Angel?”
“Maybe.”
“Princess?”
