“No! No way! I love her face. It’s not fat. And it sure as fuck isn’t ugly. It’s beautiful.” I actually whine that last part.
“You’re trying to convince the wrong person, Alex. But if it were me, I don’t think I’d believe that you didn't mean it. Stella has heard negative things about her body all her life. She’s got thin skin when it comes to the people who are supposed to love her saying shit like that. She’s not going to rebound from that one like normal girls.”
Normal girls? What does that even mean? Stella’s a regular girl. Well, not regular––she’s special, and I totally fucked up with her. I feel burning behind my eyes. I’ve been miserable for weeks, and it’s all my own fault. I could have prevented all of this. “I have totally and completely fucked up. What do I do? Where is she? What’s your room number? Is she home?” The questions pour out of me as I beg Lily for information.
“Hold on, Alex. You can’t just run over there and expecther to just accept what you’re saying. You need a plan, man,” says Hank.
“Fuck the plan. I need my girl back. I’ve been such an idiot. What happens if she doesn’t take me back?”
I’m crying? I’m actually crying right here in front of Hank and Lily, but I don’t care. This has been the worst time of my life. I love that girl so much, and she loved me––past tense. Surely she still loves me somewhere down deep. I mean, I was her first.And I will be her last, goddamn it.
“Where is she, Lily?”
“Room 216.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t fuck this up, dude,” warns Hank.
I hope I don’t. I throw on my hoodie and race out the door. I’m going to have to figure out a way to convince her to take me back. She has to. I pick up the pace as I rush to Hinman. I can’t get there soon enough.Stella, please be there. Please be there.I enter Hinman and search for the stairs. I take them two at a time to the second floor and race down the hall, searching for room 216.
When I find it, I stop to catch my breath. A plan. Hank said I needed a plan. But I can’t think of anything but seeing her face. When I raise my hand to knock, I hear music coming from her room. Aw, fuck, it’s Adele. I can hear her singing along with the music. I hate that she’s listening to heavy shit instead of her happy Meghan Trainor playlist. I know I’m the cause of her sadness. I haven’t been the guy she deserves. But that’s all going to change right now.
I can’t wait any longer. Instead of knocking, I try the doorknob. It turns. It’s not locked. Damn it. She needs to lock her damn door. It’s not safe. Gingerly, I open the door, revealing the view of Stella’s back. I stand there for a few seconds to really look at her. She’s wearing some type of baggy shorts and a T-shirt. They’re both paint stained; she looks beautiful. Her hair has grown a little since I last saw her. I like it, but I liked it shorter too. She’s holding a paintbrush in her right hand as she sways to the music and sings along. Man, that girl cannot sing, but she can move that body of hers. As I slowly walk up behind her, she visibly stiffens. I don’t want to scare her. Maybe I should have tried to call first? She stops moving and stands with her back to me. I move as close to her as I can, our bodies almost touching.
“Stella,” I whisper that so softly I’m not sure she can hear me.
She takes a deep breath; she heard me. I wrap my arms around her waist and sway to the music. She crosses her arms in front of herself, stiffening slightly. I can tell she’s uncomfortable with my hold on her, but I don’t let go.
“What are you doing here, Alex?”
“I’m a fucking idiot, Stella.”
“Yeah, that’s true. But you didn’t answer me. What are you doing here?”
I laugh a little at that as I take her right hand. I place the paintbrush on her dresser and turn her around to face me.
“I just saw Lily. She told me that you'd moved over here. She also told me about your mom. I hope she’s doing better.”
“She is, thanks.”
“She also told me why you missed my game that day and why you hadn’t called or sent me a text.”
“I would have told you those things if you’d given me a chance. Even when you came out of the bathroom, you could have asked me. I would have answered even though my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I would have told you.”
“I went to your place after the game. I was worried about you. I knew you wouldn’t miss it without a good reason. I thought you were hurt or sick.”
“I wasn’t. My mom was.”
“I know that now. But when I came to your door, Brookeanswered. She told me that you had gone home with Bradley, that you had taken him back.”
“What? Why would she say that?”
Oh, I know why. “Because she’s a jealous, evil bitch,” I spit.
“You seemed to like her just fine that night.”
“I didn’t do anything with her, Stella.”
