She looked at me. “Sam?”
How could I say no to her? To this? “Even if it’s a girl, honey. We can name her Christine.”
And that’s when they lose it. Tears everywhere.
Everywhere.
Even me.
Chapter Forty-Two
In Honor Of My Brother
“Well, Chris, I did as promised. I named my firstborn after you. I wish you were here to hold him. I think you’d be the best uncle in the history of uncles. I’d love to tell you he looks like you, but there’s only a little bit of me in him. He’s Sam’s clone, for sure. I’ve seen his baby pictures, and I’ve never seen two people who look more alike. Well, except for you and me.”
I wipe my eyes. I’ve taken Christopher Franklin with me to the cemetery. I don’t need to come here to talk to my brother—I can do that anywhere—but I think I needed to visit him in this spot. I needed to take his namesake to the place where he rests. And I needed privacy. It’s not like Sam hasn’t heard me talking to myself. He has. Many times. But in order for me to really talk to Chris, I needed to be here.
“Things are good with our sisters.” Chris understood our sisters better than I did. I think it’s why he didn’t put up with their crap. I was always following their lead, though. Probably because they were girls. They had girl intel about makeup and menstrual cycles that I needed to know. Things Chris knew nothing about and wasn’t about to learn. Not even for me. “They love this little guy.” I kiss his forehead just as he starts to fuss. “He’s probably hungry.” He’s always hungry. I’d say he takes after me with that, but the little booger was almost ten pounds at birth. That’s all Sam. “It’s going to take a lot of food to keep him going.”
I giggle and coo at my little guy. “He’s almost a month old now, Chris. He was a week late. If I had to go another day, I think I would have givenmyselfa C-section.” I laugh again, and it makes my little guy smile. Or maybe that’s just gas. “He’s very gassy, Chris.”
I adjust the baby carrier so I can sit in the grass. “Mom and Dad are thrilled to have a baby around. They’ve been a big help, especially Dad. He’s been hanging out at our place during the day so I can still edit.” I kiss Chris’s head. Then, his nose. “They’ve postponed their trip out west this summer so they can spend time with the baby.” Which I’m happy about. “Sam’s mom is amazing, too. And his brother Jesse is in love with the baby as well. It may be the catalyst to him figuring out what he wants out of life. I snicker. “I’m not holding my breath, though. He says he still has oats to sow.”
I reach out and brush off the soil from the base of his headstone. “I miss you, big brother. So much. Even after all this time. I think about you every day. There’s a hole in my heart where you belong, my dearest brother.”
Running my fingers over Chris’s soft hair, I say one last thing. “I promise you. Your namesake will know you. I’ll tell him all the stories about you, even the embarrassing ones. He’ll know your secrets when he’s ready so that you will live on in my son just like you do in my heart.”
I place my hand over his name, the coolness from the granite seeping into me. “I love you.” Kissing my son on his head again, I stand and walk to the car. The SUV Sam bought me last winter. He’s leaning against the passenger side with his arms crossed. “You okay, baby girl?”
“Yeah.” No. Not really. “Thank you for coming with me. And for letting me do that by myself.”
“I’m here for you, love.”
Sam’s added a new endearment to the mix. “Love.” It’s my favorite.
“I know you are.” I push up on to my toes and kiss his soft mouth. “I’m here for you, too.”
“I know, babe. Wanna get some ice cream?” he asks, taking Christopher out of the carrier.
“Is the sky blue?”
Sam looks up. “Yep.”
“Then there’s your answer. I’d like to add that if the sky had been gray or even black. I’d still want ice cream.”
“Noted.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Five Years Later
“Sam!” I shout down at him as he walks our two little ones back from fishing on the dock. Christopher will be five this summer, and our daughter, Lillie, will be three this fall. She looks so much like me and my brother at that age, it’s scary.
“Hurry up. Candy is here to take the kids.”
It’s the seventh anniversary of our first date. In the time we’ve been together, we’ve always celebrated it by going to Luigi’s. It’s also the night I’ve been planning for weeks because I’m at that stage in pregnancy number three where I can’t get enough of my husband, if you know what I mean.
“Be right up.”
