Chad slumped and rested his cheek to Romeo’s bicep.He hugged Romeo’s arm to him, releasing a shuddering breath.When he exhaled, Romeo felt his warm breath against his skin, and then a single kiss with chapped lips.Romeo’s eyes fluttered at the sensation, and he closed them, allowing himself a moment of peace, but all too soon Chad let go, and continued towards the kitchen door without glancing back.
Romeo rocked forward on his feet, heart racing as his bicep began to cool from Chad’s touch.It was too brief a moment, too small a respite.He clutched his arm, attempting to keep the warmth of Chad for as long as possible but it faded, and he jolted at the sound of the back door clicking shut.
He looked towards the outhouse, the usual place he’d retreat to when his emotions got too confusing, but instead, he turned in the direction Chad had gone and followed him into the kitchen.
Chad stood at the sink drying his hands on a tea towel.The kitchen smelled of soap and the sink gurgled from the draining water.
“Romeo?”
Romeo stopped in front of him.“Kiss me again.”
Chad blinked.His lips popped open like he didn’t quite understand what was being asked of him.
“Kiss me again.”Romeo repeated.
Chad’s eyes roamed, jumping from Romeo’s arm to his cheek, to his lips.“W-where?”
And maybe if Romeo wasn’t so single minded, he would’ve found Chad’s response amusing, but instead of a teasing comment or a twitch of a smug smile, he blurted in a broken voice, “Anywhere.”
“Why?”
“I just need you to.”
Chad gripped the counter behind himself while lifting onto his tiptoes.He pressed his lips to Romeo’s cheek, then his jaw, then his throat.
Romeo balled his hands into fists and closed his eyes.
Hesmelled like Chad.He used the same shampoo, and bodywash,theirshampoo and body wash.Chad’s lips were slightly rough when they skimmed Romeo’s skin.He felt like Chad when Romeo pressed him against the counter, same firmness and height, and heat.
“I’ve missed you,” Romeo murmured, “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
Chad stopped kissing him.He wouldn’t look Romeo in the eye.“I’m sorry.I’m so sorry, Romeo, I—”
“No,” Romeo interrupted.
Romeo cupped Chad’s jaw.There was fear in Chad’s brown eyes, apprehension, but he still looked at Romeo the same way he always had.Romeo’s fingers twitched against Chad’s skin, digging in harder.
“I’m sorry—”
Chad tried to shake his head, but Romeo held him still.
“I haven’t handled any of this the way I should have.I haven’t known how to handle it.You...”Romeo shut his eyes.“You’re my everything, but I had to accept I couldn’t be everything for you, that there’s certain parts of me lacking—”
“That’s not true.”
“It is.If you asked me three months ago what’s the worst thing I could imagine, I would’ve answered losing you.Someone taking you from me, but in my head it’s an impossibility, no one is ever going to take you from me and whoever would be foolish enough to try,” he snorted, “well, I bet you can guess what I would’ve done to them.”
“I think I have an idea.”
“I never thought you’d be the one to take yourself from me.”
“Romeo—”
“Wait.”He pressed his thumb to Chad’s mouth.“And it hurt, more than I’ve ever been hurt.I hated you for that.I hated you for every lie that came from your lips about how you loved me, how we’d be together, even at the end we’d be together, but it doesn’t make sense.”
“What doesn’t?”
“You killed Lucinda for me.For us.You said goodbye to the detective.You made that choice.I don’t believe you could go from choosing me over everything to leaving me behind.There must’ve been something else going on.Something you couldn’t control.”
