“She had a family.Sons.Grandchildren.”
“Most people have a family.Everyone I’ve killed has had a family.”
Chad squeezed his eyes shut.“Don’t you feel ...guilty?”
“I don’t—”
“I didn’t mean for the ones you’ve killed, but the ones that are left behind.”
“Guilt.I don’t think it’s an emotion I possess, or at least not in the way it affects you.”
“Do you want me to describe what it feels like to you?”
Romeo hesitated.His tongue twitched with the desire to reply there was no point, he’d never understand guilt, but he and Chad hadn’t discussed his feelings about Lucinda in any detail.Romeo had left Josh and Ally with that responsibility, and he regretted not trying to understand himself.
Chad swallowed.“It’s a helpless feeling.I feel helpless and ashamed.My actions took a loved one away from her family, and I can’t give her back.I’ve put a permanent scar on that family, and I can’t do anything to put right that wrong.”
“The alternative was losing all this.”Romeo glanced at the house.“Losing me.Losing us.When you apply that to the scales of wrong and right does it change things?”
Chad didn’t answer.
“I’ve always known I’mwrong.In the way I think, and feel, and react.I hated being different.But from that first life I took I realized everyone else’s wrong, is my right.It’s all a matter of perspective.Mine is just different to anormalperson’s.But I equally deserve to be alive and live the wayIwas supposed to.”
“Am I a normal person?”
“No.”Romeo snorted.“You’re far too complex to be considered normal, but you’ve always strived to do the right thing in other people’s eyes.You’ve always been desperate to prove your worth but it’s never led you to happiness.”
Chad bowed his head.
“You’re happy with me.I’m wrong to some, I’m evil and monstrous, but I’m your right.You made a choice that day.”
“I know.”
“Do you now regret it?”
“Never.”Chad said, looking at Romeo.
“It was the right choice.The only one you could live with.”
Chad nodded.
“Then this thing you call guilt, this helplessness and shame, you’ve got to let it go, Chad.Vincent has poisoned your life like he said he would, but you’ve got the antidote.Let Lucinda go.Let everybody go.They’ve taken far too much of your time already.”
Chad pushed to his feet.He nodded somberly, backing away from where Lucinda had fallen.
Romeo didn’t move as Chad headed in his direction.He stiffened when Chad stopped beside him, gaze locked on the sleeve of Romeo’s t-shirt.
“Can I?”Chad whispered.
Romeo didn’t quite know what he was asking for but nodded to the request.
There was a shaky inhale from Chad, then he reached for the short sleeve, folding it up until the fabric bunched on top of Romeo’s shoulder.Three silver lines shone in his skin.They dipped, pressing into his muscles, the remnants of the shotgun blast that had been meant for Chad’s head.Lucinda was no longer there, the field had soaked up the blood, but Romeo’s body still had evidence of that day.
Chad stroked his thumb against the biggest scar as he bit his lip to the point it bled.Romeo resisted the urge to cup his cheek and force his lip from the pinch of his teeth.
“You saved me.”
Romeo pressed his lips in a grim line.That day, he’d saved Chad, but for the past week he’d been trying his hardest not to kill him.
