“Wait.I—we can still be friends.”
I don’t know how to read the expression on his face.It’s not hopeful—more like resigned, as though he doesn’t want to be labeled the bad guy.
“I don’t think so.”A part of me hurts at the idea of never seeing or talking to Eric again, but I can’t be his friend.First of all, he’s a crappy friend, considering how he broke up with me, and thinking back to some of the things he’s done.Second, I need distance from him.
Eric’s jaw drops slightly, but he makes no move to stop me as I head for the bar.Reese is waiting with another Purple Hooter.I don’t feel like drinking, but I down the shot, because she got it to cheer me up.She doesn’t ask me what happened, but the look in her eyes says she already knows.
Eric and his friends leave promptly after he returns to the bar.I stay as long as I can without making it obvious I don’t want to be there, which lasts about twenty minutes.
Reese’s blond Viking boyfriend gives us a ride home.After watching trashy TV for a couple of hours with Reese and her roommate, they go to bed, and that’s when the snot and tears and choking hiccups come.I silently cry myself to sleep alone on their couch, because regardless of how well I’ve done in school, I feel like I’ve been living the rest of my life with blinders on.
ChapterEight
The return trip to Tahoe is therapeutic.I cry until I’m dehydrated.I haven’t decided if I’m weeping over how humiliating last night was, or the end of a relationship.A bit of both, I think.
With a stop at a small sandwich shop in Placerville, I splash water on my face.My turkey club is soggy and tastes like cardboard, my drink like sugar water, but I chew and swallow and get back into the car.Before turning on the ignition, I call Gen.
“There you are,” she says.“How did it go?”
“He dumped me.”My voice comes out strong, but there’s a slight quiver.
Eric and I needed to break up, but I still care about him.Now that it’s over, I know I’ll miss him.Not in anI’m in lovekind of way, but in athis is the guy I spent the last two years withway.
A moment of silence passes.“Cali—I—wow.I’m sorry.I know that’s what people say to make other people feel better—I’ve heard it enough times these past few months—but in this case it’s the truth.He didn’t deserve you.”
“I know.Now.”
She lets out a soft sigh.“Where are you?I could find someone to take me?—”
“I’m fine.Just leaving Placerville.”
“Okay.”Her voice sounds hesitant, and then, “Oh, no.”
“What?”
“We told Jaeger and Mason we’d go to the party tonight.But don’t worry.I’ll text Mason and tell him we can’t make it.”
The part of me that hurts from rejection—which makes no sense, I wanted things over in the end as much as Eric did, but there it is—wants to crawl into bed and wallow.The other part, the part of me that has encouraged Gen to get back out there after her breakup, insists we go to this party.“No, we’ll go.”
“Really?Are you sure?”
“It’ll be good for us.”
“Don’t do this for me.I’m fine.”
“I want to.I need to get out.”Out of my head—away from the self-pity.
The steps up toMason’s townhouse are located just down from the Heavenly Ski Resort.Dark, abandoned lift chairs glint in the moonlight, voices and music from the party carrying in the evening air.
Gen knocks on the front door and steps back, waiting.She’s wearing jeans and platform sandals.I’m in non-ass-cheek-baring dressy shorts, flats, and a light, fitted sweater.
A minute passes and no one answers, but we hear people inside.I shrug.“Try opening it.”
She twists the knob and the door swings wide on oiled hinges.The sound of music and talking elevates to ear-blasting proportions.Bodies are everywhere.
I scan until I see Jaeger’s head above all the rest.He’s in the middle of the room, talking animatedly.
That’s weird.He’s usually pretty subdued.
