Itossed and turned all night, not sleeping at all thanks to the thoughts racing through my mind. Ever since the reading of the will I hadn’t been able to eat, to think clearly, or even draw a full breath. I wanted to run, to pack up my things and never come back to Hell Creek. But this time there was a lot more at stake than just my reputation.
When the pre-dawn gray began to fill the sky, I decided I couldn’t lay in bed any longer. I got up, pulled on my clothes, threw on a jacket, and headed downstairs. The lobby was empty with no receptionist in sight, but I didn’t care. Nobody needed to know where I was going anyway.
The drive out to the cemetery was short. There was nobody around of course, and in a town as small as Hell Creek, the gates were always left open. Judging by the rust clinging to the iron hinges, I doubted they could close anymore. I almost wished I could close them though, just to make sure I had the privacy. Then again, who the hell would come to a cemetery at five in the morning?
I needed to though. I needed to talk to my stepfather.
The gravel crunched under my feet as I made my way between the rows of headstones, morning dew soaking throughmy city shoes. Dad’s grave was still a mound of fresh dirt, the flowers from the funeral wilted and sad against the raw earth. I stood there awkwardly, hands shoved in my pockets against the pre-dawn chill.
“Hey, Dad,” I finally said, my voice sounding strange in the stillness. “This is... weird. I haven’t talked to you in fifteen years, and now I’m talking to you when you can’t even answer back.”
A light breeze rustled through the pines at the edge of the cemetery. The mountains were just shadows against the lightening sky.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I asked, anger suddenly bubbling up. “Forcing me and Cole to live together? To run the ranch together? It’s like you’re trying to get one of us killed.” I kicked at a clod of dirt. “And it’ll probably be me.”
I paced in front of the grave, too restless to stand still. “You know what happened between us. You know why I left. And now you’re making me come back and face all of that? Face him?”
My throat tightened unexpectedly. “I built a life, Dad. A good one. I have a job that’s not terrible, friends who accept me for who I am. I have Derek...” I trailed off. How the hell was I going to explain all this to him? “Oh yeah… I guess I never told you that I was gay.” I let out a long sigh, shaking my head. Now he’d never know.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered. “I can’t stay here. This place... it suffocates me. You know that. Hell, you were part of the reason I felt suffocated. Both you and Cole.”
The memories came flooding back… I saw the fights with Cole, the way Jack would look at me with disappointment, like I was failing him by not being the son he wanted. The way I’d tried so hard to be someone I wasn’t. Lump that together with teenage hormones and it was a recipe for angst and animosity.
“But I can’t let Cole lose the ranch either,” I admitted. “Not after everything he’s put into it.”
I sat down heavily on the damp ground, not caring about the dew soaking through my jeans. The eastern sky was turning pink now, the first rays of sun catching on the dewdrops around me.
“I don’t want to stay here and I’m gonna be miserable,” I said, not hiding my irritation. “But it’s Cole that’s gonna suffer the most. You know that. Cole deserves the ranch, not me. If you hadn’t made thisstupidwill, I would’ve been happy letting Cole have it all. And now…” I let out another deep sigh. “Now I’m gonna have to live with that stupid fucker for a year just so he won’t despise you for the rest of his life.” I glanced down at the grave. “I hope you’re happy, you old bastard.” I couldn’t help a reluctant smile though. “You always were one for tricks. I missed that after Mom died. It was like the light left you. But I see you managed to find it again in the end.”
I stood up, brushing the damp soil from my jeans. The morning light was spreading across the cemetery now, turning the headstones into long shadows that stretched toward the west. Part of me wanted to stay here all day, hiding among the dead rather than facing the living.
“One year,” I muttered to the fresh grave. “One goddamn year of my life. That’s all you’re getting from me, old man. Then we’re even.”
As I walked back to my rental car, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Derek. I hesitated before answering, knowing I’d have to tell him eventually.
“Hey,” I said, my voice rough from the cold morning air.
“Jesse? Are you okay? I’ve been worried sick. You barely texted yesterday.”
I leaned against the car, watching the sun creep over the mountains. “Sorry. It’s been... complicated.”
“When are you coming home?” The concern in his voice made my chest ache.
Home. Seattle was home now. Not this place. Not anymore.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about,” I said, dreading the conversation. “I have to stay in Montana. For a year.”
The silence on the other end was deafening.
“Derek?”
“A year? What are you talking about? Your job... us...everythingis here.”
I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “It’s my stepfather’s will. He left half the ranch to me, but there’s a condition. I have to stay here and run it with Cole for a year or neither of us gets anything.”
“So walk away,” Derek said immediately. “You don’t even like that place. You’ve told me a thousand stories about how much you hated growing up there.”
“It’s not that simple,” I replied, watching an early morning jogger pass the cemetery gates, giving me a curious look. “If I leave, Cole loses everything too. The ranch, the money, all of it.”
