I wasn’t going to lie, I was fucking worried about War’s state of mind right now. A part of me was wary about him coming along tonight. How much death could one man be a part of before he snapped mentally.
He had enough on his plate, and I knew he was still dead set on finding the guy who killed his mom. He was going down a dark path and I was powerless to stop him. He needed Connor to ground him again. Or Waverley, they were the only two people who could do it. I was way too ingrained in our way of life to be able to turn him around.
“Let’s move, it’ll take at least an hour to drive down there,” King looked at his watch.
Everyone started to leave the office. War was behind me, but I turned to face him before he could leave the room.
“Are you sure you’re up to this?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what it’s supposed to mean. We just got done leaving Hammer cleaning up another body," I shook my head at the insanity of this day.
I’d expected War to really take his shit out on Lily when we went after her today. I’d never get used to calling her by her real name. Not that it mattered anymore, she was no longer an issue. I should have known he wouldn’t be able to do it any other way than quickly. It was less than she deserved after what she did to Con.
As soon as this was over, I was driving down to Paterson to see Connor and ask him what the hell was going on. Why was he pushing War away and what the hell could I do to make it better. Wave told me she hadn’t been able to get him to tell her anything and pushing him too hard was only pissing him off and stressing him out.
I was at the point now where I really needed to see him because every time I’d tried, something got in the way. I felt incredibly guilty about that and it was irritating as hell that when I did finally get to see him,it wasn’t going to be an easy discussion. I didn’t know if I would be the one to make a difference, but I was damn well going to try.
This shit couldn’t continue. They’d been friends too long, been together as more than that for years, they cared enough about each other that this shit was pointless. They should be supporting each other, not making each other miserable. Connor was going to need all the help he could get, and War was the best person to give him that.
Shit. It finally hit me what was going on. I looked up at Warren as the idea took on a more solid form in my head. “Did Connor tell you not to go see him because he knew this was going to bring your relationship to light?”
War stopped dead and looked as if he’d been slapped. It was written all over his face. That was exactly what happened. Connor knew War would never be able to care for him the way he needed, because he would have to let everyone know they were together, and War was never going to do that.
“Is it? Is that what happened?”
“Leave it,” War said, heading for the door.
I grabbed his arm, stopping him and he tried to shrug me off, we both stumbled but I wasn’t letting him go, my grip only tightening. “Is that what he said to you?”
He glared at me. “We both agreed. Alright, you fucking happy now?”
“No, I’m not fucking happy. Jesus, Warren, you can’t just let him throw everything away like that.”
“What do you want me to do Hudson, come clean, tell everyone I’m fucking gay?” he hissed at me. “How do you think that would go down huh? How long have we been hiding this because we know exactly what will happen. It’s fucking over. Okay? It’s over. He gave me an ultimatum and I couldn’t give him what he wanted to hear. So he told me to get the hell out and let him live his life, what’s fucking left of it. That’s what he said to me. That’s…” He put his head in both of his hands and turned away from me. “I can’t do this right now, I can’t. There is more important shit going down than this.”
“It isn’t over,” I told him.
“Just because you’re all loved up and happy doesn’t mean everyone else gets to be.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. We can figure something out.”
“What?” He screamed at me. “Tell me right now, what can we do to fix this?”
“What’s going on?”
We both turned to see King standing in the doorway.
“Nothing,” War said, his flushed cheeks went white as he stared at his father.
I had no idea how much, if anything, King had heard of that.
“Park it, whatever it is. I don’t want anyone going into this with their head somewhere else, you understand me. Anything else can be dealt with afterwards.”
War gave him a sharp nod then walked out, barging past his dad. I looked at King, trying to gauge if he knew anything. He’d mastered the art of inscrutable facial expressions years ago and I couldn’t get a read on him.
“Keep a careful eye on him,” he told me.
