“Didn’t want to what?” I move closer.
He shrugs.
“Don’t do that,” I’m right in front of him now. I’m being the biggest hypocrite on the planet but I can’t not know this.
“Why do you care, Cassie?”
That isn’t a loaded question at all. Pulling my shit together I stare straight at him. If I’m expecting something from him, I need to give something in return.
“I never said I didn’t care. I’m just… it’s hard for me.”
“You’re strong, Cassie.”
My throat hurts when I swallow, a huge ball of emotion is threatening and I can’t let that happen. “What didn’t you want to do?”
He nods, like he knew it would still be impossible to get anything from me. “Be alone.”
My heart almost breaks. Even surrounded by all of those people at the carnival, he felt alone?
“I thought that was where you grew up. You showed up there when you were seventeen.”
“Hopper has a big mouth.”
“Hopper cares about you. She’s nice.”
“Yeah, one of the good ones,” he looks away, like he’s recalling something bad.
“You may have only been there three years, but you made an impression, clearly,” I add, thinking about Teresa.
I’m glad she didn’t try to approach me, I was in no mood to fight anyone and that was what it would be. People like that don’t know how to resolve conflicts with words. Rationalizing with her wouldn’t have worked.
Eli grins with real feeling behind it. And that irritates me because I don’t want to think about him with someone else. And that is not something I want to admit to myself, let alone him.
“It wasn’t serious. We were kids.”
“You don’t need to explain it to me.”
“Admit it, sweetheart, you’re curious.”
He gets a halfhearted shove for that comment. There is no way in hell I’ll be admitting what seeing her made me feel.
“I certainly wasn’t expecting what happened there today. And I’m not just talking about your ex.”
“Hardly an ex. We messed around, hung out now and then, we never went anywhere outside of the carnival together.”
“She’s definitely held that torch too long.”
He laughs and scrubs his hand over his hair. “I needed a minute is all,” he indicates around us.
Maybe I’m not that approachable, open person he wants me to be but that night we shared, we did talk. I told him things I haven’t told anyone else before and even though he was holding back, he set me at ease, he got me to see beyond my issues and fears.
I want to do it for him now. The confusion I felt over how he acted with Mace is still swirling inside me. One minute he’s telling me he can’t be with me, the next…
“Where were you before? And don’t pretend to misunderstand what I’m asking.”
“Okay. Fine. I was one of those kids.”
“A runaway?”
