“Everything okay?” I ask.
He nods. His whole body is tense, but he doesn’t say anything more.
“Thanks Hopper.”
“No problem. Don’t you be a stranger.”
She smiles sadly like she knows it’s a pointless platitude. They travel around the country so much it would be hard for him to keep up with them. We’re lucky they were close by when we needed them. There are no more hugs, and he doesn’t pay attention to anyone as we leave the fairground.
Instinctively I know not to ask any more questions and keep walking alongside him. He’s slowed his pace, so he doesn’t leave me behind, which only makes me think how much of a gentleman he is, even in something so simple.
At his bike, he takes a moment to look it over. Does he think someone has messed with it? I glance back at the carnival but there are too many trucks and rides in the way to see back to where the workers live.
“Had a little run in with someone,” he explains, taking our helmets from the saddle bag.
“You think they’d deliberately sabotage your bike?”
“He’s not happy that his wife is paying me attention.”
Oh, okay. Her husband. Jesus. “Is it safe?”
“Don’t see anything, come on. We can stop off somewhere and talk.”
I don’t ask any questions and climb on behind him. He turns the bike and heads back to the highway and I grip his waist tighter. On the way here, I was terrified and wondering what the hell women who ride on the back of a bike are so excited about. The longer we rode, the more I enjoyed it.
Together with the closeness it created between us. I sure as shit wasn’t taking any chances and hung on tight, just like he told me too, not caring if he read anything into it. Now though, the warmth of his body pressing against my front, the strong hard lines of his thighs where mine wrap around them, all serve to bring back memories.
They’re invaded by other thoughts, of what an amazing man he is. Mysterious too, now that I know he didn’t grow up around these people. He had a life before them too.
I’m not sure how far we’ve gone when he does eventually pull over. There are no buildings around and he takes a dirt path further intothe trees and navigates us to what looks like a rest stop for hikers. It’s empty but there is a trash can and a single old and weathered bench so it doesn’t encourage loitering. There are leaves all over the ground, no one appears to have been here for a while.
As we get off the bike, I notice the small lake. It’s really pretty. I set my helmet on the driver seat and watch Eli walk to the waters edge, his helmet dangling from two fingers at his thigh.
I’m fixated on his silhouette against the backdrop of the lowering sun. The tenseness in his shoulders and his total stillness. There is no sound here now that the bike is off. I take a couple of steps toward the bench which doesn’t look safe to sit on, unless I want splinters in my ass.
“Liz wouldn’t tell me anything.”
His voice is low, and I lift my head but he’s still facing the water. Something tells me to keep quiet. Like he needs the silence. It must have been too long and they don’t trust enough anymore.
With a huge intake and exhale of breath, Eli turns around, finding me away from the bike. He takes a few steps closer. “I thought things might be tough, too many years have passed and this,” he taps the cut. “They hated it when I decided to leave, especially with an MC. They don’t have the best of relationships with bikers.”
“So why did you leave?” I ask. This isn’t the important question I should be asking, like what the fuck do we do now. Especially if Mace can’t do his part. This is about understanding that going back there has done something to him.
“I’d been there too long.”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
His gaze goes distant as he stares at the floor, toeing some of the leaves to get through to the dirt on the ground.
“I got too used to being in one place, I thought because we moved around a lot that made a difference. Before that, I hadn’t stayed in the same place for longer than a few months.”
“But you came to the MC and never left.”
He blinks a few times before focusing on my face. “Well, that was never meant to be long term either. Dirt promised me a job, never said anything about joining up. Being around those guys was different. I’d never seen anything like it before. They were hard, like the carnies but there was something different about them.
“No one pressured me to join up, and they were happy with the work I was doing. I figured after a few months I’d move on. I’d never had my own motorbike before and riding it was freeing. I could get on it and go. When it came down to it, I realized I didn’t want to.”
Sadness engulfs him for a moment until he straightens up and pulls himself out of it.
