I gave a rough, humorless laugh as I shook my head. "He was a douche. How did you –" I snapped my mouth before I dug my dirty work boots even deeper than I was. But Maria was determined to siphon every inch of admission out of me.
She lifted her chin in challenge. "How did I what?"
I blew my breath out. Fuck it, might as well hand myself my own shovel. "How did you stand to be around him?" I ground out. "He was intolerable. Braggy. Smarmy. Disrespectful."And is he the kind of man you're into?
Words left unsaid caught in my throat, but I swallowed back my unfounded resentment at the thought of Maria with that pompous asswipe.
"Yes, well, clearly, I don't have the best taste in men." Her pointed look was like an arrow to the chest. I deserved that.
"So, how did my name come up?" she continued to push, ignoring my previous questions without thought.
"Apparently, his cousin met you before or saw you together. He asked Logan if you two were still dating, and Logan, well..."
"Let me guess, he started bragging about our sexual history."
I stared at an invisible spot on her shoulder, but I ended up getting distracted by the curve of her body. "Yeah," I confessed.
Maria's mouth tightened, and she glanced up at the ceiling. A glittering sheen shimmered in her eyes.
"I don't care that you slept with him –"
"Why should you care? My sexual past is none of your business."
"No, it's not. I know that."And I've been telling my brain that since I learned about him.
Maria sniffed before rubbing her hands up and down her arms. "I wish I'd broken it off with him sooner."
My head reared back slightly. "Wait,youbroke it off?"
She snorted. "Well, ghosted him is probably more accurate. He was a dick and didn't treat me very well, so I—well, never mind, it's not important."
I shook my head incredulously. I believed her, of course. I should've known that no one in their right mind would willingly end things with Maria. My instincts had been throwing up red flashing alarms all over the place while I listened to that bastard blather about Maria. Something felt off about that smug idiot but I was too blinded by jealousy and pettiness to apply a little discernment.
"What?" She could sense my agitation, and I fought to smooth my expression. I chose not to mention Logan's lie about dumping her, but I also didn't want her to think I was doubting her or judging her.
"Nothing.” My heartbeat galloped as I took a deep breath. "When I was sitting there, listening to him describe his...entanglement with you, I admit I was jealous." Her brows drew together, and her little tongue flicked out to wet her lips.
"And pissed," I reluctantly and quietly finished.
She tilted her head. "Pissed? Why were you..." her voice tapered off as a dark awareness reddened her face. My stomach plummeted. "Because I slept with him," she realized. "And not you." She shook her head, and a crude laugh escaped. "Are you fuckingkiddingme?"
I winced at her high inflection. There was only one way out of this, and that was the truth. I was well aware that this might be the last grace she would bestow me, so I had to make it count, no matter how much I wanted to dance around the truth tactfully.
"I know! It was stupid. It was an emotion stemming from jealousy and a few too many beers. I know you don't owe me your body, but I admit that a part of me felt slighted."
"You mean your ego was dented?"
"Yeah," I begrudgingly admitted. "He made it clear that your...physical relationship ended a couple of months back. So, yeah, I did think –"
"If she slept with him, why couldn't she sleep with me?" She raised her brow in sardonic loathing.
That part. I took a deep breath. "Yeah." What else could I say? She'd hit the nail on the head.
Maria gave a derisive snort and shook her head incredulously. "It wasn't about you. My celibacy was a personal choice,isa personal choice," she stressed. "One that I did not make lightly but something I chose to do after careful consideration."
"I understand that now. I would love to know the reasons behind that choice, but I know I've probably lost that right."
Her pregnant silence spoke volumes, and I hung my head.
