Regret tore into me at her saccharine pitch. I ran a hand down my face, attempting to wipe the shame of my actions. Yes, I was a tad aggressive in my approach to having Maria speak with me. My actions were entirely manipulative, and Maria was right to go off at me for my behavior.
Although, would she be here right now if I hadn't made sure I was at the forefront of her mind? It was wrong and stupidly selfish, something that was the antithesis of how I would normally act. But I couldn't help myself.
I strolled around my desk and frowned, halting when she took several steps back in defiance.
"I apologize, Maria. I know you've told me you're no longer interested, and I should've respected that. And I did."
Her brow raised in apparent disbelief, her mouth pursing in disagreement.
"I stayed away that first time. After I saw you at work –"
"Which time?" she indignantly snapped.
I paused, my mouth closing at her rebuttal. "The first time," I gritted out.
She let out a cute grunt of agreement before jutting her chin.
Fuck it, I decided to go with honesty. "Maria, the first time I met you, I felt...revitalized."
Her perfectly groomed brow drew down. "Re...vitalized?"
"Yeah. Something drew me to you that day in that cafe. You were witty, funny, and intelligent. I could've spoken with you for hours." I shook my head in amazement. "We were so alike: both business owners, both without families."
Maria straightened her stance, her face clearing of her thunderous expression into one of icy indifference. "Please just stick to what you wanted to say to me. No need to rehash our brief dating life."
"Uh...right." I frowned, momentarily thrown off. "Sorry, I had a whole speech prepared; let me just reshuffle my cue cards," I attempted to joke.
Not even a tiny inch did her lips lift. Okay, message received. Talking points only.
My shoulders deflated, so I admitted, "I got scared."
She breathed deeply, her eyes raking me from head to toe. "Scared?"
"Of my feelings for you." I shuffled forward an inch. Maria stayed in place.
"Being a widower...there's a lot of emotions attached to that." My throat closed as it tended to when I touched this subject. I quickly shifted focus. "Emotions I won't bore you with."
Her brow furrowed further, but she thankfully didn't press. I decided to shoot straight to the point—to the truth of what caused my change of heart.
"A few weeks ago, when I was out for drinks with the guys, I met your ex."
Her shoulders stiffened, and her expression shuttered down. A pink hue painted her cheeks, but I knew it wasn't from embarrassment. "My ex?" Her eyes flickered away. "You mean Si –"
"Logan."
A strained silence fell, and her pink-painted mouth snapped shut. I pushed down the clench of uneasiness in my stomach when I realized she was clearly about to utter another name.
Maria was the first to recover, rolling her eyes and huffing in annoyance. "Logan?" she scoffed. "He wasn't an ex. It was just sex." Her slim shoulder rolled nonchalantly.
Jealousy slammed into me at the graphic imagery that sentence provided. I clenched my fists to keep my emotions at bay.
Do not be a hypocrite. Do not be a hypocrite.
"How did you meet him?" she pressed, her eyes shifting curiously. "And how did you know we slept together?"
"He's the cousin of one of my workers. When I took them out for drinks, he invited Logan to join us since he worked around the corner."
She nodded and folded her arms again. "Pleasant company, was he?"
