Preston started screaming a response, but Clara hung up the call before he could get a full word out.A moment later, Mia came traipsing back down the hallway with an armful of blocks.
“These, Naff?”
I hurried her way, kissing the top of her head as I picked up the blocks that had spilled.“Exactly these.Great job.Let’s drop them off.”I helped her deposit the blocks in her little play area, then rushed back into the kitchen.
Clara stood drawing deep breaths at the kitchen island, a hand pressed to her forehead.I pulled her into a tight hug.Her arms went around my waist, and a moment later, a sob escaped her.
“He’s a fucking asshole,” I murmured into the top of her head.“You held your own.You did it perfectly.”
Clara’s body was wracked with sobs, muffled into my chest.When she pulled back, sniffing, she said, “The very least that I wanted for her was for her to have a father.Like I had, before he died.And he just—he doesn’t—”
I rubbed her back as she buried her face in my chest again.My throat tightened as I listened to her.Fuck, I knew this pain.All I’d wanted as a kid growing up was for that dad to choose me.To show up.To acknowledge me and pick me up from baseball and tell me I was doing a good job.My chest ached as the wound opened again, reminding me of all those years of longing, wishing, waiting, that resulted in…nothing.The absence of my father.Him choosing his own life, abandoning his boys, year after year after year.
I couldn’t understand it growing up, and I couldn’t fathom it now.
Especially after that little girl chose to give me a post-nap hug?Fuck, I’d do anything for her now.She had me wrapped around her finger, and I couldn’t have walked away from her now if I had a gun to my head.
I didn’t understand men like Preston.Like my bio dad.
I hated that they were sharing air on this planet.
“He did this once before,” Clara whispered, once the tears had subsided a little.“I mentioned that I was going on a date with someone, when Mia was about one.He freaked out.”
“He can’t stand that you might be happy, because he wants you down and depressed,” I bit out.“He’s trash.I want to have a conversation with him.”
Clara shook her head vehemently.“That will make it worse.I know it will.He won’t respond well.He'll say something about how I'm a bad mother or—"
"Hey."I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger, guiding her to look at me."He's got nothing on you.You're an incredible mother.Everything you've done has been to protect Mia and give her the best life possible.He's bitter and miserable and probably ugly as fuck."
A small laugh escaped her."I’d say he’s gone downhill."
"He's threatened by this.By us.Because you moved on and he's still stuck in whatever pathetic cycle he's in."
"Logically, I know that.It just..."She rubbed her temples."It still gets to me.Because he strung me along forso long.Our entire relationship was just one let down after another.I look back and I don’t even know why I stayed.I just thought he was the goal.Smart, good job, put together, in the right sector.But he only gave me crumbs.And then you were there the night I caught him cheating on me.When I told him I was pregnant, he looked at me like I'd ruined his life.And now, every time we talk, I'm back in that moment.Feeling like I'm to blame.Like if only I’d been different, or better, or prettier, I…"
The pain in her voice made me want to punch something.Preferably Preston's face.
"If he were a smart man, he’d be thanking you, not blaming you," I said firmly."He's a coward who can't handle responsibility.”
She hung her head.“I don’t understand why people behave like this.”
“Because they’re hurt and afraid.”I could feel the fear licking through my veins even as I spoke.“What really confuses me is how Preston could look into Mia’s perfect face and still treat her the way he does.She doesn’t deserve that and neither do you.”
Mia wandered into the kitchen.“Mommy sad?”
Clara straightened, hurrying to compose herself.She wiped at her eyes.“Oh, I’m okay honey.Mommy’s just a little…well, sad, I guess.”She scooped Mia up into her arms and showered her face with kisses until she earned a laugh.“But mommy loves you so much.Do you know that?Mommy loves you forever and ever, to the moon and back.”
Clara started tickling Mia until she squealed, and soon the two of them were all smiles.
But when Clara looked my way, I could see the tension lurking beneath her grin.The strain of her eyes, the sadness that just wouldn’t quit.
Because I had it in me too.
The way that Mia’s perfect little face made the protective side of me roar up like a provoked bear was only one of many indicators.I was in fucking deep.
And I had no choice but to protect what was mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY
