I contemplate calling out to him again, but he pulls out his phone and walks toward the window at the far end of the hall, entering almost mid-flow into conversation with someone.
And so, I step back from the door and let it swing shut.
CHAPTER 6
Matt
Bro,” Archie calls out across the lot outside the pit building.It’s hot.No, it’s fucking hot.I’m in shorts, I’ve rolled the sleeves of my T-shirt up, and I’m still sweltering, waiting for my lunch from one of the little food trucks dotted around the area.
“You shouldn’t be talking to the competition.”
“Competition?”He chuckles, slapping me on the shoulder.“You wish.”
I collect my double cheeseburger and curly fries from the food truck, with a quick thank-you, and then turn to Archie, my arms filled.“I’m carb-loading.”
“Christ, mate, you’ll end up like me,” he says, wobbling his stomach and laughing.Archie glances at the empty bench tables and nods his head.“Got a minute?”
I climb over the bench seat and sit down opposite him, unwrapping the greasy paper from my burger and ripping open the paper bag of curly fries so Archie can have some, but he declines with a wave of his hand.
“I watched your lap,” he says, his big fingers rapping on the tabletop.
“Car’s a piece of shit.”I tear into my burger with my teeth, just as I spot Fernando Alonso striding across the lot clutching a green smoothie, back from his track walk.Who the fuck does a track walk at his level?Does he seriously still walk around to look at the condition of the track ahead of the race?And then I wonder if Noah is out there on his own and feel guilty.
Archie tips his head.“It’s still happening, isn’t it?”
I shoot him a look.“How’d you guess?”
“No oneslows downcoming out of turn seventeen.Even in the rain.Even on this bumpy-ass street circuit.”
I put my half-eaten burger down on the bench and pick up my Coke.Archie is almost recoiling at the amount of grease running down my chin.I roughly wipe at it with a napkin.“Yeah, it’s still happening.”
Archie frowns, then glances around to make sure we’re alone.“Dude, you should—”
“What?What should I do?”
“Maybe it’s time to speak to...you know...um...”He struggles, clumsily, in a field he wasn’t designed to navigate, like a seal trying to ride a bike.
“A therapist, Archie?”
I put my drink down, lean back, and stare up at the clear blue sky, streaked with long milky-white jet streams, and contemplate telling him that I alreadyamspeaking to a therapist.A really fucking expensive sports therapist who specializes in recovery after trauma.
And thank god, because yesterday was a mind fuck, and his advice after qualifying is the only thing keeping me fromrunning to the airport and catching the next plane home.“Speak to Chloe about your problems on the track,” Archie says.“You knew her well once.You said you could trust her.”
But when I tried to speak to Chloe and caught her with that gurning sleazebag Jack Sheppard, I lost my way.It bothered me.A lot.
I know Chloe doesn’t need or want me looking out for her anymore, but it’s hard not to.That guy cannot be trusted, and I don’t like him sniffing around her, especially when she’s finally made it to the big league.His sly confidence only thinly veils his desire for status and desperate need to feel in the middle of things.It’s a dangerous mix.He’s the perfect tabloid reporter, actually.
I picture her standing in the low light of her suite last night, her back flush against the wall.Her cheeks pink, lips red, that small waist curving in just above the band of her trousers.The rise and fall of her breasts with every shallow, anxious breath.Everything about her was just so incredibly...sexy.I wasn’t expecting that feeling, and I didwantto protect her.
And she hated it.In fact, she seems...to hate me.
When I relayed all this to my therapist last night, there was a very long, uncertain pause, before he said, “I see.Matthew, maybe just get through the weekend and then we can make some decisions.”
So that’s what I’m doing.Getting through the weekend.
“Maybe I should just retire.I’m thirty-four,” I say, looking back at Archie.
“Lewis is forty.”
