“I’m not that kid anymore, Matt,” I remind him, taking a final, unsteady step closer, head tilting up, defiant.I’m just inches away now, close enough to see those green flecks in his eyes catching the dim light.God, he is so beautiful.I hate him.
Matt’s jaw moves as he drags his eyes across my face.Scanning me.
“No.You’re not that kid anymore,” he replies slowly, his voice deep and gravelly as his eyes trail to my mouth, and then everything stands completely still.The room is silent, except for the shallow hitch of my breathing.
It’s too much.
I close my eyes, feeling my cheeks on fire.It is hopeless.My body is reacting to Matt’s presence like I’m seventeen all over again.It doesn’t matter what happened in the years between, I’m back there, begging for him to notice me as something other thanthat girl.He can see it, I’m sure of it.I can feel myself starting to shrink back toward the wall and away from him again.
When I open my eyes, Matt is watching me, his eyes narrowed in what looks like concern.Then he drops his arms to his sides, and his body relaxes.
“Everyone watches everything.Just...be careful, Bug,” he says, more softly now.
“Don’t call me that,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.“Or I’ll call you fuckingDialsin front of everyone.”
Matt’s face immediately breaks into a grin, a twinkle returning to his eyes.He steps back just once, and I allow myself to breathe out, as space finally appears between us.
“See, I never knew why calling my mum was so damn funny to everyone.”
“I think it was the sheer volume of calls,” I say, my body starting to relax.I eye my crab on the dresser.I sure don’t feel hungry anymore.
Then he turns away from me and wanders to the window.He pulls back the curtain a little, the sky outside a midnight blue, the twinkling lights of the Singapore skyline reaching out into the distance.He needs to sleep, I realize suddenly.But I can sense he isn’t done talking.
“Matt, it’s late,” I say.“I know you didn’t come to talk about Jack Sheppard.”
“Yeah.I tried to find you earlier,” he says quietly.
“I did call you at least five times after qualifying.”
“It’s this situation.”Matt puts his hands in his hair, sitting back on the windowsill.I want to feel bad for him, I truly do, but after watching him fumble through that press clip earlier, and now barreling into my room, throwing his weight around like he still has the right, and then calling menaive?
“You hate it,” I say plainly.
“Yes.I mean, no,” he says quickly.“It’s my driving.”He looks suddenly overcome with a different kind of stress.“I need to be able to talk to you.And you’ve been avoiding me.You can’t do that, Chloe.You’re the boss.”
“Iamthe boss,” I say.I can’t help but take a jab at him.“You want to talk about that?I saw your interview.”
Matt’s face is frozen as it quickly dawns on him what I might be talking about.
“I was hijacked.”
“Gun rammed into your rib cage?”
“Felt like it,” he says.
I cannot help but smirk at him.“The time it took you to answer...Wow.You could have done several laps of the circuit.Even in the Arden.”
He stands abruptly.“Youbeing my boss is the least of my worries right now,” he says impatiently.
“You being my driver is thebiggestof mine,” I shoot back, and I immediately,completelyregret it, as I watch him stiffen.
“I didn’t mean that,” I say quickly.“I don’t.”
“You do mean it.And honestly?You should.”He movespast me and back toward the door, pulling it open, the light from the hallway spilling into the room.
“Wait.”Bad, bad, bad management, Chloe.I need him.I need Matt to drive tomorrow.I need him not to think I’m awful.“Don’t go, Matt.Come on, let’s talk.”
I rush to the door before it closes but he’s already walking down the hall and toward his room.I watch him pat himself down and then kick the door, as he realizes he left his key card inside.
