Chapter Ten
"Excuse me?"
I couldn't have heard that right.
"It took me a while to figure out what I was feeling, mostly because I'd never felt it before. I knew for sure when you were taken. I went from feeling something for the very first time to dead inside again, and I didn't feel alive until I saw you again."
Jack tossed his hands up in the air as he spun and walked across the small bathroom. "I don't know what you call this. If I want you more than my next breath? Fine, call it desire. If I feel an overwhelming need to touch you and see you every second of every day? Fine, call it possessiveness."
Jack turned and walked back to me before grabbing me and drawing me into his arms. He held me tightly, but gently. "If I have a soul-deep, gut-clawing need to change everything about my life just to see you smile? Fine, then call it what it is. Love." Jack smiled at me. "I love you, Kaito."
"Jack," I whispered. I don't think anyone except my parents had ever told me they loved me. "I don't know what to say."
What was the proper response for something like that?
Jack's smile lost some of its luster. "You could tell me you love me back."
Did I though?
I thought over my feelings for Jack, and there were a lot of them. I knew he drove me insane on a pretty regular basis. I knew I loved verbally sparring with him. I knew I really loved being in bed with him, especially when he lowered his defenses and let me see that gentle side of him. And I knew the thought of never being this close to him again made my heart hurt.
But, was that love?
"I feel something, but I'm not sure what it is."
"But you do feel something for me?" Jack winced. "Besides anger?"
I chuckled. "Yes."
Jack hugged me tight, tucking my head under his chin. "I'll take it," he whispered before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "I'll take whatever you allow me until you figure it out."
Okay, that might have raised the scale in his direction just a little bit more.
"Let's get you downstairs for some food then we'll come back up here so you can rest."
I shuddered.
"No, no, it'll be okay. I'll stay up and watch over you all night. I won't let anyone get to you. I promise."
"I'm not sure that will help, Jack."
"Can you tell me what they did to you, Kaito?" Jack asked. "If you don't want to talk about it, I'll understand, but I'll listen if you want to talk about it."
I wasn't going to say anything, because I really didn't want to talk about it, but I found myself telling Jack every horrible detail anyway. Tears streamed down my face as I retold of being restrained and unable to fight back, to get away.
I told him about being collared and tied down to the table. I even told him about the metal cage they put on my dick. The drugs that held me immobile, unable to do anything but lie there and feel every single painful thing they did to me.
And then the electrical shocks. The never-ending shocks that ripped through every part of my body and stole my ability to do anything. I couldn't even shift.
Jack held me the entire time, hugging me and stroking his fingers through my hair. When I finally ran out of words, he handed me a tissue to blow my nose then lifted my chin up until our eyes met.
"They will never hurt you again, Kaito. I swear this on my life. I told you, my issues with control make me a very good soldier. My anger makes me a great soldier, and now, I have someone to aim that anger at. If they try to come for you again, they're going to find out what makes me such a good Marine."
I believed him.
"Okay, Jack."
Jack swung me up in his arms and carried me out of the bedroom then down the stairs to the dining room. He set me down in one of the chairs before heading to the kitchen. He was back a few minutes later with a tall glass of milk.
