I heard Hank and Jack talking as I walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Part of me wanted to listen in, but the other part—the part that had been kidnapped and tortured wanted a shower more.
I dropped the blanket on the floor then leaned into the shower and turned it on. While the water was heating up, I turned and looked at myself in the mirror.
Christ! I looked like ass warmed over.
I'd lost a few pounds that I really couldn't afford to lose. I hadn't been skinny, but I'd definitely been on the lean side. Now, I looked practically anorexic. Dark circles marked the undersides of my eyes. And my eyes. Oh man, my eyes. Totally bloodshot.
There were no other outwardly marks to show what I'd been through. Not even a scratch. I felt there should have been something to show the horrors I'd been through. Kind of made me think of those people with medical conditions who looked perfectly fine. They had trouble getting people to understand that they were sick. They just didn't show it.
I didn't show it either, except for the eyes.
I knew with a few good meals I'd fill out again, and eventually my eyes wouldn't be bloodshot and the dark bags under my eyes would fade, but nothing would touch what was truly wrong with me deep down inside.
I was sick and no one would be able to see it.
I sighed and turned away from the mirror. There was nothing I could do about any of that right now. I needed to concentrate on what I could do, like take a shower then get some food. The rest would fall into place or it wouldn't.
I climbed into the shower and stepped under the shower spray. I almost cried as hot, steamy water rained down on me. It hurt, like a hundred thousand tiny needles beating down on my skin, but it felt so good to feel the dirt and grime wash off under the hot water.
I had almost started to believe I would never be clean.
When the shower door opened and someone stepped inside, I knew it was Jack. I could smell him. Besides, I figured Jack wouldn't let anyone in here that wasn't supposed to be here.
I could be wrong.
"Get your hair wet, Kaito, and I'll wash it for you."
Yep, it was Jack.
I stuck my head a little farther under the water and got all of my hair wet then tilted my head back. I groaned when Jack's fingers sank into my hair. He started at the front then slowly made his way back to the base of my skull, his fingertips gently massaging every inch.
Nothing had ever felt so good.
Swear.
"Okay, rinse."
I leaned forward, placing my head under the water again. Jack's hands slid through my hair again, rinsing away all the shampoo. I stood there shivering when he started to wash my body from head to toe. He even lifted my feet up one at a time and washed the bottoms.
"Okay, baby, time to rinse off."
I didn't even mind the baby comment.
I stood directly under the shower spray once again, letting the hot water wash away the soap. I wanted to stay there, but I knew the water would grow cold after a while. Still, I almost cried when I reached over and turned it off.
When I turned and stepped out of the shower, Jack was waiting there with a fresh towel. Once again, I just stood there, this time as he dried my hair then my body. After he dried me, Jack helped me dress in the soft pajama bottoms and long-sleeved shirt Ian had provided. He even helped me on with the thick wool socks.
"Ready to get something to eat?"
I turned to give Jack a stone-cold look, but knew it fell way short when Jack smiled at me. "Why are you doing this?"
The way Jack's eyes began to sparkle made me nervous.
"I told you, Kaito. I'm not going to go back to what I was like before. You taught me how to feel. I refuse to give that up."
I narrowed my eyes. "So, you're using me?"
"No, baby. I'm loving you."
