I sigh heavily. “Do you want me?”
“No.”
“There’s your answer.”
He looks so confused. So angry and confused. I sidestep, but he cages me in.
“What if I change my mind?” he asks in a rumble that I feel to my toes.
I laugh bitterly, mockingly. “You won’t.”
“What makes you so sure?”
I push past him. “Look at me,” I say and wave a hand down my body. “And look at you. We don’t match. We don’t fit. Past experience has taught me a lot about the right people you let into your intimate circle.”
He seizes my wrist, and I stiffen, refusing to look back at him. “Don’t change your mind now. Don’t fall in love with me, don’t even fall in lust, because I won’t ever, ever want you.”
Harsh, cold, aggressive, and full of disgust. It slaps at me like a physical blow.
“Yeah, thanks for the ego boost. Let me go now.”
He removes his hand from my wrist really slowly.
“Everything all right here?” I jerk my eyes up to find Riot glaring at me. Of course, I’m the bad guy. I walk stiffly past both of them and walk out into the storm. Safer out here.
The wind snatches at my jacket, instantly turning me icy cold, but I ignore it, moving into the middle of the yard, lifting my face to the wind.
I inhale the smell of the storm and do a quick walk around the property, making sure everything is the way it should be. I would stay out longer, but I already can’t feel my fingers or nose.
I turn back to the house. The chimney is puffing away; the smoke being snatched by the wind. The windows glow with orange light.
Howls in the distance have me turning, lifting my lip in warning. I tilt my head back and let loose a long, lonely howl.
It’s echoed a moment later by five more. But the wolves, the ones that were moving in this direction fall silent, successfully warned away. They were true wolves, but still, it’s better they not come here.
I wait, listening, straining my ears until I hear the howls moving further away. Only then do I relax and turn to go back to the house.
My feet hold me still as I take in what I never expected to see. A pack ready to defend.
They stand in the yard, arranged around me. I meet Khaos’ eyes briefly and then duck my head and stomp back to the house.
I feel all their gazes on me, but I’ve had enough. Some secrets are allowed to be just mine. I walk in, kick off my shoes, and disappear into my bedroom.
I sit in my bed and swipe at the tear that tracks down my cheek. For just a second…just one second, when I turned around, I saw a dream, a future I can’t have. I thought I was over this desire for a pack, long ago, when they beat it out of me.
I’m not stupid enough to let myself linger over these self-indulgent desires. Especially not with them. They deserve freedom.
And I deserve my isolation where no one can hurt me.
Riot
Casey is the strangesthuman female I’ve ever met. She is avoiding us as if we are the dangerous ones. Avoiding, ignoring, pretending she can’t see us. But then, she dumps more blankets outside our rooms, makes sure there is more food cooked than last night. She puts enough milk in the fridge for all of us and doesn’t explode over the childish things the others are doing to try to get her attention.
I trail after her in my wolf form.
The storm is here, and her hair is being picked up and whipped around her. She belongs in wild places. Standing on the side of a mountain like the true wolves. Like we used to be.
There is something so isolated and sad about her.
