“Yes,” Jarek smiles widely and presses his hips to mine. I let out a startled squeak.
“I’ve never seen her,” I say breathlessly.
“But she’s talked about you to us a lot.”
I sniff, trying to ignore the way he’s pressed against me, the hard length of him that is impossible to pretend isn’t there.
“He could have killed me,” I whisper in an angry hiss. “It would have been kinder.”
Jarek laughs at my sullen comment, long and loud. When he finally stops, he leans over me and kisses me hard. “No, he couldn’t, not anymorethan I could have or Cadel could have. We would face death a hundred thousand times rather than see you hurt. But your being hurt is still alive, Kaida. That means there was a chance to save you. Dead is dead.”
“I don’t care.”
“He came back and did chest compressions, keeping me alive. Making sure I didn’t pass, if that makes a difference?”
“He came back?” Okay, it makes a tiny bit of a difference.
“Of course, he came back. I think he must have just missed you. His first thought was of you. He didn’t even wait for me to recover enough, just took off after them.”
I stare through Jarek. “I need to think. Please. I…things happened, and things changed, and I don’t know, but I need to think.”
Jarek sighs and lays back down. “Okay, then I will stay with you until you work it out.”
I reach out and cover one of his hands with mine. Outside, I’m calm, but inside, I’m screaming. It’s like it was one thing too far, and something inside me is not willing to go back in the cage.
My scent is mixed and unpleasant, but no one says anything. No one asks me to do anything.
When I wake next, it’s dark, but I know Jarek is gone, and instead, I find Cadel sitting quietly beside me. For a long time, we stare at each other, and I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t know what I’m thinking. Just that I wish we’d met somewhere else.
“Do you remember me?” he asks in a whisper of sound.
“Of course, I do, you’re Cadel,” I say tartly.
He sighs. “Okay, that’s fine. I can livewith this.”
I sit up. “I don’t understand.”
He smiles wryly, with a hint of longing and bitterness. “Fate works in mysterious and cruel ways.”
His smile falls as he watches me.
“How long are you going to ignore Mordecai for?”
“He left me there.”
“I know.”
“How can I trust him now?”
“I don’t know.”
“The Resistance left me as well.”
Cadel turns suddenly, yanking me out of the nest I’ve made for myself and into his lap.
“We came for you. We brought an army to rescue you. There will never be a time that we don’t come for you. He,” Cadel stresses, “came for you, he would have gone alone.”
I exhale roughly, trying to hold back the emotion but I can’t. It floods over, spills from me untapped.
