I cough and clear my throat a few more times, but now the back of my throat feels scratchy and uncomfortable. Somehow, I manage to form words.
“I’m fine,” I call out to Elizabeth. My hand shakes when I bring the glass of water back to my lips. I only wet my tongue a little before putting it back down and touching my chest where my heart races like I just ran up the stairs.
“Are you still alive?”
I jump and yelp in surprise when I hear my friend’s voice over the phone. I almost forgot that we were talking when this episode of sorts hit me.
“I’m alive.” I roll my eyes and try to sound as normal as possible while being a mess on the inside.
“Great!” She sounds way to cheery. “Now tell me about Alex.”
My mouth goes dry again, so I rush to grab the glass of water I abandoned on the kitchen. “There’s nothing to tell.”
I don’t sound convincing even to my own ears, and apparently Elizabeth thinks the same.
“Oh, come on! I know you said you were done with him, but I just can’t believe that it’s over.”
I let out a long sigh. “It’s not over,” I admit. “But it’s not going anywhere either.”
“Is it strictly sex this time?” she teases.
Tears gather in the corners of my eyes. It’s a natural reaction not just to my relationship with Alex, but my entire life. It’s all a mess. I can see myself getting older and not wiser, just waiting for my knight in shining armor who will forever have Alex Connors’ face.
“It’s always been strictly sex.” My voice is low and sad, a perfect representation of me.
“Not on your end,” Elizabeth argues. “I always hated him on your behalf because I never understood how he couldn’t see it.”
I shrug in answer, whishing she could be here with me.
“Tell me what’s going on, babe,” she invites. “Get it off your chest. You’ll feel better.”
I don’t believe that at all, but I decide that sharing with my friend the sad state of my life can’t hurt either.
“He’s come back again,” I start. “Brought dinner this time. We…” I swallow hard. “We had a good time together. He asked me if he could call me, and…”
I pause as I chew on my bottom lip.
“And…?” Elizabeth eggs me on.
“I told him he was still blocked.”
Elizabeth doesn’t say anything for the longest time. It’s like she needs some time to process what I just told her before she can give me an honest review.
“Have you heard back from the guy on the fake dating site? The one who stood you up,” she adds.
Ugh. Julian Lewis. I still think it’s all his fault that I ended up inviting Alex into my bed again.
“He sent me a message, but I haven’t responded. I’m done with him.”
“So you’re going alone to the Christmas party?”
I drop my head in my hands before regrouping. I pick up the phone and log into myHolidatesaccount. I’ve been messaging back and forth with Jonathan Bennett from Boston. He actuallysounds like a great guy. I like that he is very matter of fact when he communicates. There’s no beating around the bush with him.
“I’m not going alone,” I tell my friend. “I have a date.”
Elizabeth lets out a little giggle. “Alex?”
I roll my eyes at how sure she sounds. I guess I don’t blame her. I have been predictable to say the least. Besides, I was maybe a little too honest with her when she had her own relationship crisis.
