“No!” She raises her voice at me when I stand up, but then her eyes light up when she sees me undoing my pants and dropping them to the floor. I yank the sweater I have on, pulling it off together with the cotton T-shirt I am wearing underneath.
Once I am completely naked, I slide my hands under Mona’s thighs and yank her closer to me until her buttocks are on the edge of the counter. My cock is perfectly lined up with her entrance, and it only takes one firm push for me to slide right in.
Mona’s head falls back again, eyes closed, a blissful smile on her face.
“Yes,” she moans. “You’re so good, Alex. Like no one else…”
Her words spur me on, but for all the wrong reasons. I am suspicious of what she says, and I am jealous at the thought of her being with someone else while also being with me.
I grab her by the hair and stick her face closer to mine, not allowing for her to move an inch. My hips continue pumping into her with so much force, I don’t know how I am not hurting her. I want to hurt her like she’s hurting me. Like Ithinkthat she’s hurting me.
I devour her lips, taking everything from her with my tongue and my teeth, hoping that she won’t have anything left for anyone else.
The pressure in my balls reaches an extreme. I don’t think I’ve ever been this ready to let go while being scared that if I do, I will lose her forever.
“Tell me,” I growl against her mouth. “Tell me there’s no one else… You’re only with me.” I pump harder into her. “You’re… Only… fucking… Me!” I punctuate each word with a hard thrust, hoping that I leave bruises not only on the outside but the inside as well.
“Only you,” she promises in between open mouthed kisses. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and lifts herself up from the counter. Her hips are moving faster and faster, each time her engorged clit making contact with the base of my cock.
I feel completely disconnected from reality and I continue pumping into her, unaware of where reality begins and fantasy ends. I feel so much in this moment, it scares me. I don’t know if I can survive it.
Words of love and affection want to spill from my lips, but I am terrified that everything would be ruined the moment they came out.
With a loud groan that is ripped from my very soul, I finally let go. Ropes of cum erupt from my cock, landing inside the warmth of Mona’s womb. It feels too good, and like we are about to make a baby.
The thought is terrifying, and my eyes snap open. I suddenly realize that I am still inside of Mona’s shower, alone. I am not coming inside of her but rather on her shower door, with now cold water splashing down on me.
I try to calm down, but my hips are still moving, and my heart is back in the kitchen, with Mona spread naked in front of me.
“It wasn’t real,” I whisper to myself. “I was fantasizing to make myself come. We didn’t have sex without protection.”
That last thought is the scariest of them all. It feels like a trap to even think of it, like I am inviting the gods to set up a trap for me.
With shaking hands, I turn the water off and get out. I rush as I towel myself dry, and by the time I am done, I am freezing.
I am on autopilot when I open the door and step back into the hallway that separates the bathroom from the bedroom. I walk over to the bed only to find Mona sleeping. She looks peaceful, like an angel. She is a sexy angel, and she could be my downfall.
But maybe falling for her is not the worst thing, I think to myself as I raise the covers and slide into the bed. On instinct, I turn onto my side and pull her into me. The way she settles right into me with a sigh of contentment makes me rethink my entire life. Again.
That’s all I’ve been doing ever since she’s blocked me. I understand where I am wrong, but I have a hard time letting go that easily. It took years of programming to be where I am today. Expecting to let it go cold turkey is too much to ask.
Isn’t it?
“I love you,” Mona sighs.
All the blood drains from my body, and it pulls around my heart. I might actually die right here, right now.
I pull back a little so I can see her face, not ready to return her words and unsure of how I should respond without ruining everything once again.
That’s when I notice that Mona is still sleeping, and the words were mouthed while unconscious. And now I wonder if they were meant for me, or if she was just dreaming about another man while lying next to me in her bed.
Doubt and anger flow through me, to the point where I almost want to wake her up and ask her about it. I want to throw a fit, put my fist through the drywall as I demand answers.
But then, a small voice in the back of my head reminds me how crazy this all sounds. There is no logic to my erratic thoughts, and my need for constant assurance that she’s not cheating is not normal, or healthy.
I pull her back into my body and rest her head on my shoulder while she continues sleeping, completely unaware of the chaos in my head.
I take a deep breath in and try to focus on everything I love about her. And there is so much of that. I love everything about her. I loveher.
