“Such an asshole,” I grumbled, but quietly so I didn’t wake her. I couldn’t bark again; I’d barely had the mental capacity to do it once let alone again so soon. I had the ability, but the demons that lived in my head were particularly vicious right now. They gleefully reminded me of all the times I’d been barked into submission when my clients’ growls failed to subdue me.
Did I just retraumatise myself because my friend couldn’t sleep? Yeah, I fucking did. I was such a bleeding heart.
“Fuck letting me win games,” I muttered as I laid her on top of my slate grey covers, glaring at the annoyance in the shape of a woman. “You owe me a bottle of rum for this, asshole.”
She didn’t respond, completely out of it. Guilt pricked the lining of my gut, but I grabbed tight to the memory of her pleading, of the exhaustion in her voice, drooping her heavy brown eyes.
There was one single place to sit in my room—the bed—so I nudged Lynn across until I could sit against the headboard beside her, scrubbing my hands over my face, my body winding tighter and tighter as memories pelted me. My brain enjoyed my pain; it never started slowly, with the tame memories. No, it went all in, until I could feel the press of hands on my arms, smell vile breath, feel the warmth of it hitting my face.
I could have used a distraction right now, but an unconscious woman made a useless distraction. A drink would have been nice, but I kept my rum in the tech room. Keeping it beside my bed made it too easy to rely on it, to form a crutch. I didn’t regret helping Lynn, but fuck, did it have to be a bark? I couldn’t purr for shit, but I’d rather have attempted that than remember all the barks I’d heard in the hovel where I was rented out.
I needed to call my dad, but I’d already spoken to him today and he said he was busy tonight. Texting Em—my sister would eviscerate me for calling—was a better idea. She could talk me down from a flashback without even realising how close I was to the edge; her snarky rants were better than any therapy, especially if she was pissed off at her boyfriend. I was surprised she hadn’t separated his balls from his body by now.
I reached into my pocket for my phone, but the movement jostled Lynn. I froze when she made a low complaint in her sleep and—and rolled against my side, settling her face against my shoulder, her leg resting against mine, her front flush to my side. A deep sigh moved her against me, and I went entirelystill, not even breathing, waiting for the revulsion, the vomit, the burning itch to crawl up my body the way it always did when I was touched. There were very few exceptions to that response, so a furrow dug its way between my brows when other than an odd sensation in my stomach and my rapid heartbeat, nothing else happened.
“Of course you’d be an exception too,” I muttered, scowling down at where she snuggled against me. She had some nerve, cuddling me. Even in her sleep, this woman had balls of steel. “Asshole.”
I couldn’t get my phone, because she’d pinned my damn hand to my body, so I just sat there, my breathing settling, my heart gradually slowing. Well, I’d asked for a distraction. Be careful what you wish for and all that shit.
Her heat began to seep into me, making my side tingle, and it should have been unpleasant but like everything else when it came to Lynn, I found myself liking it. I didn’t let anyone touch me, ever. The Knights knew touching me could get their nose broken; my reactions were instant, and I didn’t usually seethem,but people from my past. Demons. Monsters. Nightmares.
I glanced at Lynn. I liked that she called me nightmare. It made me feel every bit as vicious and strong as the memories that attacked me on the daily. It made me think I could win those attacks.
I blinked, my eyelids sticky, slow. She was such a dick, but I couldn’t imagine life without her in it. Her sharp laughter and wicked remarks had become part of daily life, and when I didn’t see her I found myself bored. Found myself fighting the urge to go looking for her, like a lost puppy pining for its owner. I only invited her to game with me in the first place because I hated the scent of her decay, and didn’t want to watch Hanna’s death happen to someone else. Now I had… what? A best friend?
I fully meant to shove Lynn away, her sleep be damned, but my eyes fell shut, my limbs heavy, and sleep wrapped its limbs around me like an octopus dragging prey into his cave. Did octopuses even prey on other creatures? Did they have caves? This one did, and I fell deeper towards sleep, conscious enough to hear the heavy sigh punch from my lungs, to feel the steady press of Lynn’s body against mine, for the smoky scent of her to envelop me entirely.
I fell asleep, entirely against my will, and slept deeper than I had in weeks.
13
Lynn
Iwas warm and comfortable and I didn’t want to move. My body was heavy, lethargic as it clung to sleep, my brain too mushy to form thoughts yet. I didn’t fight it, curling into the delicious warmth beside me, the scent of leather and rum and safe, lazy mornings working its way into my senses, lulling me drowsily back to sleep.
When I woke again, minutes or hours later, I knew exactly where I was and whose scent invaded my nose and coated every part of my lungs. I knew whose warmth I’d apparently slept snuggled up to—what the fuck?—and whose arm had locked around my waist, a dead weight I contemplated how to remove.
What the hell was he thinking? No, what hadIbeen thinking, asking him to bark me unconscious? Worse, if I couldn’t sleep tonight I knew I’d be back to ask for more.
I’d slept so deeply that I actually felt rested, and the bark had meant the nightmares couldn’t rise. I felt awake for the first timein months. No blazing headache, no foul mood, no heaviness pressing on my bones until it felt like they’d permanently bend. I felt like a real human again, and god it was nice.
I tried to sneak out, sliding from under Cobra’s arm, but his hand shot out as fast as lightning, curving around my hip and dragging me back against him.
“Fuck are you doing?” I demanded, ignoring the way my back tingled as it pressed to his chest, a flush moving through my body. It felt good, and that was a problem.
“Sleeping. Apparently you’re a tranquilizer. Knocked me straight out.”
“Good for you. Let me go.”
“Nah.” His other arm came under me, and I stared at the wall across from me in shock. Cobra was cuddling me. Cobra, who threatened to skin Tybalt alive when he touched his shoulder, who nearly broke Dreamer’s nose when the man knocked his shoulder into Cobra’s.
“Are you high?” I asked, seriously interested.
Cobra made a throaty sound, his arms flexing around my waist. I felt the touch on my hips, my stomach, and sank my teeth into my bottom lip to fight back the wave of whatever the fuck I was feeling. I hoped it was plain old arousal and not something stupid, like feelings.
“Why am I in your bed?” I pressed when he said nothing.
“You asked me to knock you out in the middle of the hallway, genius,” he muttered, his breath stirring the hair at the back of my neck.
