He’s spiraling and he doesn’t know what to do about it now. I can see the chaos in his clouded eyes, the frustration and anger running wild throughout him. He’s on the edge and I wanna be the one to push him, even if it is stupid on my part.
“What’s the matter,husband? Feeling frazzled?” I taunt in between the blood that’s seeping into my mouth from my split lips and he spins on his expensive shoes, his back now facing me as he runs his hands through his hair with clear aggression. I hear his heavy breaths entering his lungs in perfect rhythm as he tries to calm himself down.
A heavy silence hangs between us for a moment, then he turns to face me again, a mask of complete composure slipping over his face. It’s frightening how fast he can change his identity, how quickly his personality can slip from one to the other. A wolf in sheep’s clothing stands before me.
Ricky hunches over the bed again and drags his thumb across my bottom lip, pulling the sensitive flesh taut. He wants a reaction from me, a sound of hurt to slip past my lips but I won’t give him that. He might have ruined my outer shell, shattered it into a thousand pieces but my heart remains locked in a box inside a small wooden cabin with sprawling green trees and a crystal river that warms to the perfect temperature in the afternoon sun, and another man holds the key to that box. Aman who showed me what real love is. It can be painful, yes; but that pain can teach us that we’re just human at the end of the day. And we feel so deeply that it can seep into the marrow of our bones but it’s also wonderful. It’s bright, and burns like a raging wildfire through our bloodstreams. It can leave us breathless also, from moments that are filled with so much passion you can feel the euphoria spilling from your pores like a tidal wave.
That man has claimed me wholly, he’s picked up my shattered and jagged pieces, cuts be damned and glued me back together. I’m not the original shape I was, I’m different now, more unique and that’s exactly what he loves about me. He hasn’t forced my pieces back into where theyshouldbe, instead he’s let them fall exactly where they want to be and I’ll forever be grateful for that, for him. For loving me every single day, even when I couldn’t love myself.
“You’re thinking of him, aren’t you?” Ricky spits out, his vicious tone of voice yanking me back into the present. “It’s a shame that he’ll never find you, and if he does, well let’s just say there won’t even be enough of you to bury.”
I turn my face in his grip so my eyes are staring right into his soul, to the deepest pits of hell. “Do you’re worst, but let me tellyousomething. If I’m not the one to rid you from this earth, you best believe he will, and he’ll stop at nothing to rip you apart, piece by piece, limb by limb until there is nothing left ofyou.. to bury.”
The words tumble from my lips, and a maniacal laugh breaks free, a wild frenzy taking over my body as I throw myself around on the table, the leather straps pulling and digging into my bare arms but I can’t even feel it anymore, my tether to reality has snapped like a string pulled too tightly. I feel like my soul is leaving my body and it’s being replaced by something much darker, a foreign entity slipping under my skin, wearing my bodylike a suit.
“You’re a crazy fucking bitch but I’ve got the perfect thing to make you behave.” Ricky says and I swear his words filter in through my ears then swirl around my brain before leaving again, like a botfly digging a hole into your scalp and making a home there.
I continue to laugh like a mad woman, feeling myself slip away from reality and into that dark place again. Into the arms of the only place that can protect me now. The dark embrace is warm and fuzzy as it wraps itself around my being, doing everything it can to protect me from whatever Ricky is planning to do to me, and I let it. For the first time in a long time, I let it climb inside of me, its spindly legs and arms slipping effortlessly into mine until we become one.
Blazing heat skims over my body in short bursts as Ricky holds a blowtorch in his hand, his fingers pressing the trigger in quick succession, firing out a burning blue flame from the thin nozzle. My vision seems blurry but I can just about see him picking something up from a desk, or a table maybe? And bringing it to the scorching blue flame. The metal of the item burns brightly under the flame, glowing various shades of oranges and yellows as it begins to get hotter and hotter and I have to squint my eyes to see what it is exactly that he’s holding.
“What.. is that?” I say through heavy breaths.
“Oh this?” He starts, waving the metal object around. “Is a speculum. I’m gonna brand you with it, then once I’ve fucked you until your red raw and bleeding, I’ll need to get rid of your womb, can’t have any crotch goblins growing in there now can we and considering how many people have already been in there, I’ll have to be thorough.”
“You’re.. fucking sick,” I mumble. “YOU’RE FUCKING SICK!”A scream tears from my throat but the words are instantly lost and ripped from me as Ricky places the burning speculum on the inside of my thigh. I can feel my skin melting as the hot metal eats away at my flesh. Heaving and straining, my chest threatens to cave in as short, rapid breaths fire in and out of my mouth. It’s too much, I can’t breathe. The smell of burning flesh wafts up my nose again and it takes everything in me to not heave and expel the emptiness that’s in my stomach as the horrid scent lingers around the room.
I don’t know how much more I can take. I feel like I’ve been dragged through hell and back, twice over. My body is screaming for me to end everything, to give me some fucking peace but I can’t give in, not yet.
The burning agony on my thigh slips away for a moment and I immediately suck in a large breath as tears stream down my face, the saltiness sinking into the wound on my cheek, causing it to sting.
“No.. no more. I..” I beg, feeling exhausted.
“You’re so pretty when you beg, you always have been.” Ricky states, his tone filled with malice as he begins to heat up the speculum once again and I can feel myself slipping away.
“Please, please don’t do this. Just.. just kill me. I can’t..” I feel like my words don’t even make sense anymore, like they’re all garbled and messy, and maybe that’s exactly how I’m feeling. My head topples to the side, too heavy for me to hold up any longer and my eyelids begin a flutter closed again. My lashes don’t even have to chance the rest on my skin before the raging agony eats through my skin again from Ricky placing the speculum further up the inside of my thigh, pushing it into my flesh until I swear I can feel it in my bones, eating away at the marrow until there’s nothing left.
Demonic, that’s the only way to describe the sound that leaves my hoarse throat. It’s otherworldly, a scream of purefucking,excruciating pain and I’m begging and pleading for it to end. To just end, please.
“Ricky! Please! I’m begging you, please end this!”
His face lights up at my words, his dark eyes shining at the torture he’s putting me through and that’s when I realise, no matter how much I beg him to end this, to end me, he’ll never stop.
I throw myself around on the bed, the wheels squeaking as they scrape across the floor, doing everything I can to get away from him but exhaustion quickly takes over my body, the flame inside of me burning out.
Ricky lifts the speculum away from my thigh again and I can feel the skin tearing away with it, pulling at the tender flesh and my eyes bug wide when I see a chunk of my skin that’s melted onto the speculum. It’s enough to knock me sick. A sour bile rises up my throat and yellow vomit explodes all over my chest like a burst pipe, spewing the contents of whatever is left of my stomach all over the place.
The watery liquid splashes onto the floor with a wet slap, causing Ricky to step backwards in a haste, avoiding any splatter to land on his expensive shoes, he then lifts his free hand to cover his nose to block out the acidic smell. “You’re disgusting, you know that?” He says with disgust and my eyes drift down to the mess I’ve made all over myself.
“Apologise.”
“What?” I say, snapping my gaze back to him.
“You heard me, apologise for the mess you’ve made.”
He can’t be serious.Ihave to apologise for the messhe’scaused me to make. As if any of this is my fault.
“You know how I feel about the mess, Annabelle. Now don’t keep me waiting, and apologise to your husband.”
