I shove to my feet, earning curious looks from our friends.
“I’m full,” I sputter. “I think I’ll just head back to the cabin.”
“Me too.” I lock eyes with Zadyn, and my heart sinks. Grabbing the cane, he pushes himself to stand. “I’m kind of tired.”
Kai blows on his soup, barely masking the evil smirk on his face as we exit the hut together. The silence as we make our way back is electric—full of hesitation and secret hope.
“Are you actually full? You had two bites,” he finally says.
I turn to him. “No. Are you actually tired?”
“No.” A small smile works its way over his mouth. “Why the excuse?”
“I just needed some air.”
Honest enough.
“You’re doing it again.” I glance over at him. He taps his head. “Blocking me out. Are you acting weird because of what happened earlier?”
“I’m not acting weird.”
“Yes, you are. You’ll barely look at me.” He pauses. “I didn’t mean for things to take a turn like that.”
“You didn’t—I was the one who started it. Honestly, if Kai hadn’t interrupted…I don’t know that we would have stopped.” He looks relieved, but I continue, “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“You mean me.”
I say nothing.
Exhaling, he says, “Look, Serena, I don’t care anymore. I want you. And I am so fucking tired of resisting you.”
“Zadyn—”
He shakes his head and softens his voice. “Just let me finish. I’m tired of sweeping this under the rug for the sake of comfort. I don’t know what you want, but you are all I think about. Even in my sleep, I am constantly searching for you. I can’t escape you, and honestly, I don’t want to. If you just want this to be physical, then fine. I will take whatever part of you I can get.”
“I don’t,” I answer truthfully. “But right now that might be all I’m capable of giving you, and that isn’t fair.”
“Like I said—too tired to care.”
“Trust me when I say I have my reasons for holding back.”
“Then tell me.”
I shake my head. “I—I can’t.”
Frustration flashes in his stare. “See, this is the shit I can’t deal with—you constantly shutting me out.”
“Zadyn, please?—”
“Don’t you understand that there is nothing you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you? Literally nothing. So why the secrets? Haven’t I always been honest with you?”
My defenses shoot up. “You want to talk about honesty? Where was the honesty my entire life? Less than six months ago, I didn’t even know your real name—didn’t even know your real face!”
“That is completely different?—”
“It is not. Lying is lying.”
“Omitting.”
