“I’m done training with you.” I throw the sword at his feet and begin to stalk past him, wiping the sweat from my hairline. “Tell the king to find me someone else.”
He catches my arm and jerks me to a stop.
“No one will prepare you better than I.”
“And no one is more likely to stab me in the back while I’m not looking.” I try to rip my arm away, but he tightens his grip. “For one second,one second, I thought you might have changed. After everything that happened yesterday, you were kind to me. I even justified your actions to Zadyn, thinking you did it for my own good. But here you are, back to your cruel, unfeeling self. You said it yourself—I can’t trust you. So tell me how I can continue to train with you when I know how deeply you detest me? How you genuinely want me dead! You’d be happy if I was out of your hair and out of your life for good!”
“My life would be a lot easier without you in it, witch.” His voice is quiet as his jaw twitches slightly.
“Why,” I demand. “Why are you like this?”
He tugs me forward sharply, his face an inch from mine.
“Don’t you get it? You threaten to destroy every plan I’ve laid. I am on the brink of becoming Hand of the King. I am courting his daughter, the princess. I am expected to propose soon. Then you show up, and suddenly everything is on the verge of collapse. I can’t think of anything or anyone else. I’mobsessedwith you. Day and night, my thoughts wander beyondmy control. And my head is needed elsewhere. I’m helping to inform decisions that impact an entire kingdom. And all I can think about is the moment when I can leave behind the politicking to train with you. So, yes, my life would be much simpler if you weren’t here to taunt me, to tease me, totortureme every single day of my miserable life.”
“Jace.” His name is barely audible on my lips.
He shakes his head in disgust and stalks away. Leaving me alone and baffled in the training ring.
April 2022
The apartment door slams shut like a punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. I plant my palms on the surface and force down deep breaths as I stare down at my water-logged shoes.
Three hard knocks shake my door. I squeeze my eyes closed and pray that he will just leave.
“Serena,” Jack says from the other side. I bite my lip to keep from crying out or making a sound.
“Please.” The hurt in his voice is like a knife to my chest. “Baby, just let me in. I’m right here. Serena, I know you’re there—I can hear you breathing. Can we just talk? Please.Please.”
I lean my head against the door, holding in the sobs that threaten to explode from me.
“I’ll stand here all night if I have to. I don’t care. I’ll wait.”
“Jack,” I croak, unable to stop myself, “just go. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t—” A heavy sob breaks through the surface, and I choke on my words.
“Open the door, baby. Come on,” he says earnestly. Sweetly. Like he just wants to take care of me.
But I can’t let him.
“I know you’re scared,” he says through the door, passion saturating every word. “I’m scared too. But I want you. I want you today, I want you tomorrow, I want you on your worst day, your best day, and every fucking day in between. I don’t care what happens. I just need you.”
With every word, my heart thaws a bit more. But it’s not enough to soften what has grown hard as stone and cold as ice in the months since my dad died.
My hand slides down the door to the lock. Jack pushes it open instantly and stands there breathing hard, heavy raindrops dripping from his dark hair and pooling on the hardwood floor. I stand in front of him, shivering, arms folded around myself. My wet hair clings to my neck and face.
Jack takes one long step forward and folds me into his chest. I push my face into him, comforted instantly by his familiar woodsy scent.
How is it possible to need someone so badly and also want to push them away at the same time?
“I love you,” he whispers against the top of my head and plants a sweet, lingering kiss there. Another sob racks through me against my will.
“Talk to me,” he pleads, pulling back and lowering himself to my eyeline. “Let me in.” His hand strokes my face, but I can’t look him in the eye, or I’ll completely shatter. I keep my eyes focused on his lip ring and try to hold myself together.
“You know there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“You won’t accept this as my decision.”
“I think we need to be open to all options, don’t you agree?”
