Silence settled, and her throat worked as she swallowed. “How can you stand to be in the same space as me, let alonetake me into her home,your home, when my father, the person whose blood runs in my veins, killed her?”
Oh.Oh…I hadn’t planned to do this so soon, but demon slaying it was, then.
My wolf went willingly, unsure what to do with the human side of his soul mate. Dressed in combats, a t-shirt, a light jacket, and boots, I sat beside her and took her hand in mine.
“But you aren’t your father, Butterfly. You are the complete opposite.”
She shook her head. “But I’m still a part of him. I’m still a product of his influence and sins.”
“You share his DNA, that’s all. His actions were not yours. You had nothing to do with him killing Gwen to get me in that prison.” My stomach clenched. “Did you?”
“No. No, I’d never…” Her eyes teared up again.
Her hand was cold and sweaty, which worried me. She’d been given some medication by the healers for her detox, but that had stopped. Did she need more?
“Then, what is this about? I’ve never blamed you for your father’s actions, and I never will. Gwen was my mate; I cared deeply for her. Her death broke me becauseIfailed her; it had nothing to do with you.”
Perhaps it would help Shannon to understand my relationship with Gwen. Not used to sharing personal shit with anyone, I took a breath. Shannon wasn’t just anyone, and she needed to understand. Especially if it would stop her from blaming herself for things that had never been within her control.
“We met here or, rather, in the village. She never asked, but she seemed to understand that I was running from a bad situation and offered me a place to stay. We became friends before we became close. Fae have a soul mate somewhere in this world but very rarely meet them; they choose their partnersbased on many of the same things humans do: attraction, companionship, convenience, and gain. Gwen wasn’t my mate in shifter terms, but I loved her. I promised to provide for her, care for and protect her, but I failed. It has taken me years to come to terms with that, which is one of the reasons I pushed you away, not because of who your father was.Youare my soul mate, Butterfly.”
Shannon leaned her head on my shoulder. “One of the reasons?” Her voice was still shaky, her hand still cold.
I smiled a little. “Yes.”
“What are the others?”
“Just one.” I picked her up and positioned her so she straddled my lap, keeping my knees bent to give her something to lean back on. I loosely draped my arms around her, trying to ignore the warmth of her as she settled onto my crotch. “You scared me.”
I grinned as her eyes widened.
Her head moved side to side, disbelief in her chocolate brown eyes. “How could I possibly scare you? You’re….you.” She shrugged, looking bemused.
I brushed some strands of hair from her cheek that caught in the dampness. “Because I’d already been destroyed by Gwen’s death. I knew, the whole time you were fucking Connor, that you were my soul mate. I just wasn’t ready to admit it. And, after we escaped, I knew you’d break my heart if I gave it to you. I didn’t want to be that vulnerable again. Not when you seemed to hate our connection as much as I feared it.” This time, I cupped her face. “I let you push me away. For that, I am sorry.”
Her face crumpled, and for the first time that I could remember, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me. Her face burrowed into my neck, her breath fanning my skin. I was at a loss for words. Shannon had never been a hugger as far as I could remember. Sure, she gave her sister and friendsquick hugs, but this was different. She held me as though she didn’t want to let go. I slowly wrapped my arms around her, my heart squeezing so tight my chest struggled to expand. My wolf rumbled, as content to have her wrapped in my arms as I was. I slid a hand into her silky soft hair and cupped the back of her head.
“I’m sorry, too. I was such a bitch to you all those years. I-I thought you hated me and couldn’t stand the thought of me being related to the fucker that took so much from you.”
“I could never hate you.”
Her head turned to face away from me so she could speak freely, but she stayed propped against my shoulder. “But I hate myself. I’ve done some shitty things. You’re still too good for me.”
Such short sentences, yet loaded with so much pain and baggage. It wasn’t just her heritage; there was something else…
“Tell me why you hate yourself so much, Butterfly.”
She shook her head again. “I can’t.” Her voice broke.
“You can, sweetheart. You’re strong enough to do anything.”
“No, I’m not.” Her voice shook as she whispered those words.
I stayed quiet, giving her time to decide if she wanted to share with me. I wouldn’t force her. Then my heart clenched at her next words.
“You’ll think I’m disgusting.”
Anger unfurled in my chest, my belly tightening. Someone had made her feel like that, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out who. “I would never think that. Whatever is making you think about yourself that way is destroying you. Maybe sharing it with me will help.”
