Stone turned back, let go of my wrist and flicked my hood up.
“This will keep you warmer.”
My mouth dropped open, but I had no words, too stunned that he still gave a toss whether I was warm or cold. He held out his hand, his face as impassive as ever, having no clue that he’d just sent me into a spin. Usually, I’d do something to goad him, to putanyemotion on his face, even if it was frustration or disdain, but it was too much effort. I closed my eyes and took his hand, a wave of calmness washing through my body at his continued touch. My legs shook, my muscles ached, and fatigue dragged at my eyelids, but I gripped onto him, using that connection to anchor me, yet it didn’t dampen the growing need for a fucking drink. And that right there was the problem. I’d been fooling myself for years that I didn’tneedto drink; I only wanted one. Except, it was never just one. Not even one bottle. It was always more and more and more….
I swallowed a sharp whimper as we followed B’nar into the portal, aware that a small army was trailing us. I wasn’t stupid;their presence told me everything Stone hadn’t. Ava wasn’t safe. Rawson and Connor knew where she was, and B’nar, like the saviour and friend he was, had brought more warriors to shore up our ranks against a powerful enemy. I suspected Mades took Ava because of the information she’d found in our communications network. The rogue vampires must want that information destroyed badly to risk kidnapping the mate of one of the most powerful Alpha shifters in the world. That or they wanted to lure Rawson out. He’d hurt people while under the demon enchantments of my father’sassociates. And not just shifters.
Any more thoughts about why our enemy had taken my sister were crushed as power pushed and pulled at my insides, and no matter how hard I tried, there was no way to stop my wolf spirit from being dragged from my body. My eyes watered and I stumbled, catching onto Stone’s solid arm like he was my lifeline. Unbidden, a quiet sob burst from my tight throat. I silently thanked the Mother Wolf that Stone was too busy keeping both of our wolves anchored to him to notice my eyes watering. At least, I told myself he didn’t notice, even though his arm tightened, anchoring my hold between his iron bicep and forearm.
A relieved breath exploded from my lungs when we stepped from the vortex. I wiped my cheeks and tried to stand tall. Stone side-eyed me, but I ignored him. Instead, I lifted my face to the sun, keeping my grip on his arm. Hope was relatively warm compared to Winter Kingdom weather, and it was soothing to let that warmth caress my damp face.
Stone’s arm straightened, forcing me to release my hold, and I immediately missed the solid feel of him. My fingers cooled quickly, and I flexed them before shaking my hand, trying to dispel that feeling of loss. It was a feeling I’d shaken off for years every time he left. I’d never admitted that to anyone, noteven Ava. I’d deliberately pushed him away so many times I was always surprised that he was still willing to talk to me. That ache in my heart was always worse when he left because he was angry, and even though I deserved it, just the small amount of space between us now hurt more than ever. Maybe because, for once in my existence, my emotions weren’t dulled with rose water.
Lucas met us, his face grim, his big arms folded over his equally big chest, and his hip leaning against one of the pack’s black SUVs. His eyes rested on my face and hardened, accusation briefly crossing his handsome face before it became neutral as he greeted his superior. He was Rawson’s Beta, but Stone was a powerful Alpha, one of the Shifter King’s council, a Shadow Sentinel, and the King’s third in command.
“Rawson and Connor are waiting at the office.”
Lucas slid his attention to me again, and even though it took everything I had to hold his cold gaze, I did. Being an Alpha female in a male-dominated society was hard, especially when shifter society was built on Alpha male power and dominance. But I’d spent years gaining my reputation as a Shadow Sentinel, and I'd be damned if I was going to lower my gaze for him. Lucas’s eyes narrowed, a slight snarl on his lips. I got it. I did. I’d put his Alpha’s mate in danger, and he was doing what any good Beta would do: warning me not to cause any more trouble. It was more difficult than it should have been to swallow the urge to lower my gaze, particularly when my already trembling limbs shook harder with the effort.
A low warning rumble filled the air.
Stone.
“Lucas, back off. She’s my problem, not yours.”
And there went my cheeks again. Shame was a bitch. A problem. Yep, that’s what I was. Still, I waited until Lucas fixed his attention back on Stone before I let my shoulders slump and my gaze lower.
“Fine. But keep her away from Rawson. Any sniff of her, and he’s likely to lose his shit.”
I didn’t need to look at Stone to know he gave a curt nod. “You can take me to him. But first, we drop Shannon with Becca or Lorna.”
“Sorry, man, Becca’s working and Lorna’s supervising a new staff member at the Eazi.”
I opened my mouth to say I didn’t need a babysitter, that I’d go and wait at the house Stone and I shared, even though it was a lie. I had no intention of sitting alone in an empty house, twiddling my thumbs while everyone else cleaned up my mess. Hating myself for it didn’t change the fact that I needed a drink, and I didn’t mean a fucking coffee. Much as I liked Lorna, the owner of the Eazibean coffee shop, or even Becca, the pack’s counsellor, I couldn’t get to where I wanted to go if they watched my every move…
“Not happening, Shan.”
“What?” My head snapped up, and I met Stone’s steady mercury stare.
“Going to Eli’s place alone.”
“I wasn’t going to.” I winced at the petulance in my denial.
Stone raised his brows in a don’t bullshit me expression I’d seen too many times to count over the years.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “So what do you want me to do then? I’m not letting you lock me in the fucking pack prison until you get back from wherever you’re going. Which by the way, I should be going with you. Ava ismysister. Not some random woman I don't know….”
“Get in.” He opened the back door of the SUV, ignoring my outburst. Only the muscle popping on his jaw told me he was biting back words. My belly tightened and I huffed, but it was evident by their faces that both these males believed I was at fault for not being there with Ava when our enemies came forher. The sad thing was they were right. I couldn’t demand a space on her rescue squad when I was the reason she needed rescuing in the first place. Plus, as I shimmied onto the back seat, my body shook so hard I knew I’d be a liability in any fight.
“If I can’t go to the Orchid, at least take me somewhere I can get food.”
Stone’s side-eye was enough for me to check my words and the sulky demand in my tone. I’d always demanded, never asked for what I needed, and even though I knew it made me sound like a bitch, I still did it. I’d learnt the hard way that asking nicely got me nothing except humiliation. Still, Stone’s penetrating stare and frowning disapproval made my skin itch and my heart sink. Shit. I had no idea why, but at that moment, I hated the thought of disappointing him even more than I already had. “Please,” I quickly tagged on, though my voice had dropped to a whisper. I rubbed my arms, then folded my hands in my lap, squeezing my fingers together hard enough that the pain distracted me from the need to score my nails into my skin.
Stone continued to study me, his attention burning a hole in the side of my face. I hated that I had to ask for anything, but the way my stomach clenched, and my heart beat faster as I waited for an answer took me back to a time in my life I’d sworn never to return to, not even in my head.
He’s dead. He’s dead.
I’d promised myself I’d never let anyone have the power to control me ever again, yet here we were. Me,askingfor something as basic as the chance to eat, and fully expecting to be refused. No, Stone wouldn’t do it. He’d never been cruel like my father. I’d messed up with Ava, but he wouldn’t let me starve. I shook my head. I wasn’t even sure why I’d asked for food. I wasn’t hungry, not when my stomach felt as unsettled as if I’d been on a boat on rough seas for hours. The thought of eating made saliva rush into my mouth, but I swallowed it down. Beadsof sweat tickled my neck under my hair as we started moving. I blinked, watching the neat houses of the town pass by. I didn’t see anything, though, mostly concentrating on not throwing up. I zoned out, my head resting on the cool glass for a while before I sat back, tapping my right heel on the floor, my leg shaking in a regular rhythm. That rapid movement was a distraction from thinking about the craving in my soul for a drink. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, unable to concentrate on anything but moving my leg and the sound of my racing heart in my ears.
