The blood drained from her face. “Y-you wouldn’t lock me up and leave me…You wouldn’t. Y-you’re my…friend.”
I curled my lip, leaning down to stare into her face, not ready to dissect the fear that being locked up clearly brought her. I’d never noticed it before. Then again, we’d all been prisoners. Perhaps, with her state of mind, she had flashbacks. As much as I wanted to ask her about it, now wasn’t the time. “I’m not your fucking friend. I never have been, and you know it. But what we are doesn’t matter because if you kill or hurt the people who love us both, I’ll be the one Connor orders to kill you. Because there’s no way he could do it himself, and Owen is in Scotland. Right now, you have a chance. Don’t fuck it up.”
I hated the words coming out of my mouth, but they were true. I didn’t want to be the one ordered to execute her if she messed up, and as much as Connor loved her, he was in the middle of a violent war that needed all his attention. If the Mades got wind that one of his inner circle was vulnerable, she’d be exploited. They’d already bitten the last Alpha of Hope, and we were all waiting to see if he developed the Blood Lust virus that would turn him into one of the most dangerous killing machines in the world. A creature, part werewolf and untamed vampire would have to be put down like a rabid dog. And if it happened to Shane, it could happen to Shannon, and there was no way I’d allow that.
Yet, she needed to acknowledge how low she’d sunk to stand even a remote chance of fighting the fucking monsters in her head. Only then would she be strong enough to fight the very real monsters trying to destroy our world. Faery wasn’t my home, not anymore. Earth was. And we were a necessary part of its survival. And, while Connor did need me, Shannon needed me more. He knew it and ordered me to get her away from danger. He also knew that I’d take her somewhere she was safe, where she had the space to think and to fight her demons without the pressure of being a Shadow Sentinel.
I kept my face blank, though I was weary enough to want to rub the stinging tiredness from my eyes while waiting for her reaction. She’d either give up entirely or tell me to go fuck myself and smack me in the face to prove I was wrong. My heart sank when tears lined her eyes, disbelief shining in them. I clenched my jaw. I wanted to tell her I was so much more than a friend, even if I didn’t know what. But the words wouldn’t come because, even if I managed to help Shannon, there was a high possibility we wouldn’t work as lovers—or mates. We were too similar. Too stubborn and dominant to find harmony. I kicked that thought aside. “Ten minutes. I’ll wait in the bedroom.”
Chapter 5
Shannon
As exhausted as I was, I didn’t linger under the hot water. Stone had never scared me, but I knew him well enough to know he never lied or played games. He was here to stay. If I ran, he’d find me, and the thought of fucking up badly enough that Connor would be forced to end my life made my stomach lurch. My self-loathing was real. I rested my forehead on the cold bathroom tiles and closed my eyes. How had I been reduced to this? I was a total wreck. A waste of space. Knowing everything would run just as smoothly as ever, even if I wasn’t around, proved that very thing.
Aware that time for my pity party was ticking down, I dressed and stepped out into the bedroom, doing my best to hide my shaking hands. Waves of nausea hit me, but I gritted my teeth and hid that, too.
Stone stood, pocketing his phone. “Let’s go.”
I followed him out. He knew as well as I did that I wouldn’t run. Not if we were going home. I wanted to see Ava, but more than that, Ineededto apologise for what had happened. If I’dbeen there, she might never have been taken in the first place. My vision tunnelled in on Stone’s broad back, concentrating on the muscles shifting under his tactical clothes.
It wasn’t just Stone’s powerful body or the hypnotic way he moved that stole my attention. I really didn’t want to acknowledge anyone else. Did the Fae warriors that protected B’nar know I was such a mess? That I was a Sentinel, and yet such a fuck up that I’d been removed from my role? Mother Wolf, how my father would laugh his fucking head off. He’d always told me I was worthless, that I’d never make it as an SBI agent. He’d had other plans for me—until I’d messed them up by trying to discover what he’d done to Ava and her first mate, Lance. When dear ole dad had found out what I was doing, he’d thrown me in that prison along with every other shifter he could get his dirty hands on. I shuddered, making a valiant effort to push away memories that would have me reaching for the nearest bottle as soon as Stone’s back was turned.
I shivered even harder when we exited the palace, and icy air enveloped me. I wanted to ask if Ava was safe, but simply walking and not tripping over my feet was exhausting. I wondered if I should remind Stone I hadn’t eaten in…I blinked. I had no idea. Days probably. At least I’d had a few mouthfuls of water in the bathroom. I hadn’t been able to stomach anymore.
My teeth chattered. Christ, did it have to be so cold here? My legs trembled so much I stumbled. Only grabbing Stone’s jacket stopped me from face-planting. Stone looked over his shoulder. I fully expected him to scowl and curse, but he didn’t. He stopped and held onto me as he turned.
“Alright?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone move. A dark shape that I could have sworn was a fucking phantom of my despicable father. I spun, my heart hammering. There was nothing but sparkling frosted gardens and guards. Lots of them,all watching me with impassively cold faces and even colder eyes. I searched the bushes and gardens, sure my dad had been lurking even though the logical side of my brain told me he was dead, that his soul was in Hell, right where he should be, for everything he’d done.
‘You’ll never escape me.’
Blood roared through my ears as the cold promise he’d uttered rattled in my head. I sucked air into my lungs as my heart rate went through the roof.
“Shan? Hey.”
I blinked, startled by the sensation of Stone’s rough hand cupping my cheek. It immediately fell away, and even though it was ridiculous, I missed his warmth. He frowned down at me, and I dropped my gaze, studying his boots while trying to get a handle on my emotions.
He’s dead. He’s dead.
Even the rumble from Stone’s chest as I stared at the scuffs on his boots couldn’t drown out those words. Not when they were all I had to hold onto.
“Come on. Rawson needs me.” Stone’s grip on my wrist was firm enough to guide me after him, and for once, I didn’t throw him off. If anything, it grounded me enough that I could force one foot in front of the other. Only when my wolf whined did I pay attention to where we were.
I bit my bottom lip. Under normal circumstances, the portal didn’t scare me, but my wolf was anxious enough that it infected my thoughts. I had no idea how we’d gotten through that gateway between worlds in one piece when I’d been so wasted. I barely remembered it but knew enough to realise I’d lose my wolf today. There was no way I was strong enough to hold onto her in the pull and swirl of the Faery portal. I planted my feet and yanked my wrist from Stone’s grip. Or at least I thought I did, but he kept walking, not noticing my increasing panic.
“Stop…” I wanted to shout, but my voice was just a whisper.
To my surprise, Stone did. Not that I believed he wouldn’t hear, just that he’d be so pissed off at having to slow down that he’d ignore me. He didn’t speak; he just tilted his head and narrowed his eyes as I wiped my sweaty brow with my jacket sleeve before sliding my shaking palms down the front of my trousers. What was I supposed to say? The thought of admitting I was scared enough to throw up the mouthful of water I’d swallowed all over the clothes he’d made me promise to keep clean made me feel worse. His silver-grey eyes narrowed with such intensity that it made me study the glittering gardens and look anywhere but at him.
“Do not fret. I will help.”
Gravel crunched as he turned away, but that didn’t stop my cheeks scorching with sudden heat. I’d never needed anybody's help with anything, especially not managing my wolf. Ever since my first change as a teenager, she’d been with me, shoring up my emotions, my moods, and my strength. The fact that she’d become nothing more than a faint echo in recent months amplified the fear zipping around my veins. I stared at Stone’s big hand gripping my wrist. Realising that he knew what I was worried about, without a word from me, was more humiliating than needing help.
Then it dawned on me. Of course he knew. I’d been in no state to keep my wolf spirit anchored on the way here. He’d done it for me. That’s why I’d felt so warm and safe enough to pass out. I’d never felt more mortified than I did at that moment. Stone had seen me at my worst. He’d seen me after the fight rings in the prison when I’d been naked and bleeding, the morning after I’d fucked other people while so drunk I’d not been able to censor my words and had unleashed enough vitriol on him to drive him away, when I’d been injured and bleeding and utterly exhausted after a mission, but never once had I reliedon him to protect or care for me because I couldn’t do it myself. And he’d protected my wolf without shoving it down my throat. He hadn’t even mentioned it. My throat ached, and my eyes burned. He’d looked after me when I’d been too weak to do it myself, and I didn’t know how to process that selflessness from a male shifter, especially not someone I’d always been such a bitch to.
B’nar met us, gliding forward in that elegant and effortless way he had, and nodded once at Stone. I gritted my teeth, wanting to run as musical Fae words fell from his lips and a portal flashed into existence. Wind, laced with magic and power, whipped my damp hair from my face, and I shivered. The highly engineered Fae clothes protected my body from the biting cold, but my head? Yeah, it was fucking freezing. And why couldn’t I stop shivering?
