“Why do you say it like that? You want me to stay, but you don’t intend to stay with me?”
Lucas swallowed past the lump growing in his throat. “Yes. You’ve grown really close to Noir and Lazarus.” They would keep her safe in a way Lucas couldn’t. “With all the extra help here, you have your life back. I want that for you, but once I’m fully on my feet, there’s no reason for me to stay.”
Her spine stiffened and Lucas bit back a groan. “Absolutely not. We stick together. I don’t need any of this as much as I need myson. Noir asked me a few weeks ago to stay. I told him then that the decision would be yours to make. It’s always been the two of us.”
A sad smile tugged at the corners of Lucas’ mouth. “We’ll still see each other.” He hoped. Maybe Lucas would start over somewhere new. “Seriously, you should stay.”
Her eyes filled with tears. Wendy’s voice shook when she spoke. “No. I go where you go.”
Frustration welled inside Lucas. Of course, he wanted to be the one who took care of her, but that also meant doing what was best for her. This place was what was best. “I just want you to be happy.”
“I’m happiest with my son.”
Lucas’ shoulders fell. He would have to run and hope she understood. “Okay. We’ll stay here. You’re happy here and I want you to enjoy life. That’s a lot more possible with Noir’s people.”
She didn’t look relieved. “Are you sure we should stay? That feels an awful lot like becoming a burden. We’ve already probably stayed well past our welcome.”
Lucas faked a bright smile. He could do this for her. “Noir’s the one who asked. It seems they’ve fallen in love with you and want you here.” He saw the hope in his mom’s eyes. His heart broke a little. He had always thought he would take care of her to theend, but he had to do what was right. She loved it here and was safe. When Lucas ran, he wouldn’t likely see her again.
“I mean, if you’re sure. I think this will be great for you too. You can have a life without me weighing you down. I’ve always wanted you to get to act your age. If we stay here, you can. You could actually date someone for real.”
A genuine smile snapped to Lucas’ lips. Only his mom would think anyone would want him for real. “Sure, Mom.”
The darkness inside him got blacker and swallowed him a little more by the second. He listened to his mom chatter happily about how much she loved it here and how happy going places again made her. Lucas hated himself for all the things he had never been able to do for her. In another week or so, he would be strong enough to disappear. He would miss everything about her. At least someone would love her the way she deserved.
Lucas hadn’t even looked at him. Ajax couldn’t take it. He had tried giving Lucas time and space. Ajax hadn’t wanted to pressure Lucas or take advantage of his vulnerable state. After their amazing day together, it had occurred to Ajax that maybe everything between them was truly a case of Ajax being convenient. Ajax had gotten inside his own head and undermined everything. He wanted Lucas to choose to staybecause he wanted to be here. From what he saw from Lucas today, Ajax had done the wrong thing. Not only had Lucas looked hurt, but Ajax was pretty damn certain he wouldn’t see Lucas again once he regained his strength.
Ajax chewed his bottom lip and stared at the doorway where Lucas had disappeared with his mom. If only Lucas would come back and look at him. Surely, he would see the way Ajax felt too much. They had been best mates for years. Ajax hadn’t wanted to crave Lucas’ body for every second of that time, but he had. Now they had crossed a line Ajax couldn’t uncross, and he scared the hell out of himself. This was exactly why he had stayed quiet and forced himself to joke about Lucas’ bed hopping. Ajax had known he would lose his friend. He had known he wouldn’t be special. Ajax wasn’t ready for that outcome.
Wendy reappeared without Lucas. Ajax’s heart dropped even farther. She looked worried. Wendy smiled the same, but there was something in her eyes.
She reclaimed her seat and cleared her throat. “I hate living at everyone else’s mercy. That’s why I haven’t answered anyone about staying here.” Her cheeks turned red, and Ajax’s heart twisted. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like to be totally dependent on other people to survive. “Anyhow, Lucas says you’ve talked to him, and since he wants what’s best for me, we’ll stay.”
Lazarus jumped in. “You’ve brightened our lives since you came to live with us. We love having you here.”
A deep, worried-looking line appeared between Wendy’s eyebrows. “What about Lucas? I have to think of him too. My heart is so warm knowing you two care about me as much as I care about you, but I don’t want to stay and have my son to feel like he’s just baggage when, really, I’ve always been his burden.”
Noir made a dismissive gesture. “Don’t worry over that. Neither of you is anyone’s baggage. You’ve become like a second mother to us, but Lucas is equally wanted here. The boy almost died helping me.” Ajax bit back a snort at Noir calling Lucas a boy when Lucas was older than him. Being a prince was a different life, though. Noir had never been a child. He probably felt ancient.
Noir kept going. “Besides, Lucas is Ajax’s closest friend. Ajax doesn’t really work the sort of job that allows him to make many of those. He would very much enjoy having Lucas around.”
Every word of that kind of made Ajax want to punch Noir. Instead, he flashed Wendy a kind smile.
She glanced between them. “Okay.”
It was like the room held its breath. Lazarus broke first. “Was that an okay you’ll stay?”
Her hands lifted and fell. “Yes.” She still sounded unsure, but that obviously didn’t matter to anyone. Lazarus hugged Wendy.
Noir looked his way, wearing the same bored expression he always wore. “You should return to your duties with Lucas.”
Ajax dipped his chin and stood. He measured his steps on his way to Lucas’ room. After their dinner, he had gone back to his job of sticking to Noir. No one had questioned the move, since guarding Noir had been his entire life. It was his job. Returning to his position had been an easy excuse to give Lucas space. Now he couldn’t get back to Lucas quickly enough. Lucas needed to look at him. He had to tell Ajax to his face he didn’t want him. He wouldn’t take losing his friend lying down. In fact, Ajax might have stormed Lucas’ room a little too intensely. He found Lucas thrown across the bed and passed out. The fight went out of Ajax. He closed the door behind him softly and crossed the room. Lucas had been pushing himself too hard, no doubt trying to leave Ajax behind.
Ajax stooped and gently moved Lucas’ hair out of his eyes. Damn. He was breathtaking. All the lost weight had made his face sharper. Ajax swore nothing made Lucas less. He had a sexiness that came from the inside. It bled through his pores and overwhelmed anyone within flirting distance. Ajax had never been immune. Ajax stood and stripped down to his underwear. He closed all the curtains and locked the door. Lucas never budged. Ajax rearranged his body so he could cover Lucas and climb into bed bedside him. Lucas needed rest. Ajax would stay right here and make damn sure he got it.
Chapter Seven
Thesensationofahot mouth sucking his neck pulled Lucas from his sleep. With his eyes closed, Lucas savored Ajax’s scent and the way his body hummed with Ajax’s tongue on him. His fingers found Ajax’s thick locks and held on, stopping Ajax from moving away. A low moan vibrated from his throat and reality slowly sank in. That had Lucas pushing Ajax away.
