Ajax took a breath. He had already started this. Ajax was no coward, nor did he feel much of anything for anyone. Lucas was different. “I like having you around. I’d like you to stay.”
He could see Lucas struggling to decide whether he should crack a joke or take this seriously. Lucas kept smiling. Then it would disappear just as quickly. Ajax could practically hear Lucas’ brain rebooting. An uncertain-sounding chuckle escaped Lucas. “Mom and I already have a place to live.”
Ajax felt zero remorse for how he cornered Lucas. “I’m sorry, but no. When Noir’s accountant took over your finances, he let your apartment go. The management company said you violated your lease by leaving the flat empty for an extended time.” He had another thought. Ajax didn’t want Lucas to come unglued. “Don’t worry. It was a legal dissolution, and your car is safely tucked away in the garage. The rest of your belongings are stored in the east wing.”
“Are you two ready to order?”
Another uncomfortable-sounding chuckle rumbled from Lucas. “I think we need another minute.” The moment the server walked away, Lucas jumped in. “Has it occurred to any of you to talk to me about anything? Did you think I wouldn’t worry about the entire life I had before this?” He motioned toward the wheelchair. “It feels a hell of a lot like there isn’t a single goddamn one of you who thinks I’m a real person with real feelings and responsibilities that don’t include you.”
Ajax dipped his chin. “You’re right to be miffed. I should’ve spent less time trying to just be with you and more time on what you need besides healthcare. My actions are indefensible and unrealistic. My life has always been very different from yours.”
Lucas’ smile returned. “You mean, you’re used to everything paying for itself without limit.”
Some tension left Ajax’s shoulders, making him realize how stiff he had become. He had braced for the blow of Lucas leaving him. “I suppose you’re right.”
They held each other’s stare. Heat built between them the way it always did.
“I’ll talk to Mom and think about it.”
Ajax dipped his chin, acknowledging his decision. “That’s all I can ask.”
Lucas smirked. “Is it?”
Damn. Sometimes Ajax felt his age. He wondered what went through Lucas’ mind when he looked at Ajax the way he did now. Did he really crave Ajax as much as his expression claimed? Or maybe Ajax was just the closest dick.
Still, Ajax was willing to play. “Is there something else you want me to ask for?”
Lucas’ wicked expression didn’t budge. “No need. You have my full permission to do anything you want to me… with me. Either way, really.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
The server reappeared while they held each other’s stare. Promise flowed between them. When Lucas looked away to place his order, Ajax had to take a breath. Half dead or not, Lucas hadn’t lost an ounce of sexual allure. One day soon, Ajax would sit on Lucas’ dick. That day couldn’t get here soon enough.
Chapter Six
Itseemedasifwork kept Ajax away more often than not. Lucas wasn’t dumb. They had ruined their friendship. He had known that before he had stolen that first kiss. That was what Lucas did, though. He was incapable of holding on to friends. His personality always moved things to the bedroom and then he had no one. Lucas had no clue why he was this way. He knew he was incapable of being real with anyone. In this case, Lucas had been realer than he had ever been. It seemed he was no catch either way. So, really, it was best he kept his heart out of the mix.
The good thing about Ajax not being around as often, Lucas had been forced to do more on his own. Every day, he got stronger and more independent. He had gone from pushing himself around in his wheelchair to moving about the house with his walker. It had only been two weeks since he had gone to dinner with Ajax. But every day that Ajax had an excuse not to stay withhim, Lucas’ determination to leave grew stronger. He hadn’t given Noir an answer about staying. Lucas’ mind had turned against him, deepening the depression he always kept hidden. The blacker his thoughts turned, the more self-destructive he became. It was time for Lucas to speak with his mom.
Carrying himself with as much swagger as he could with a walker, Lucas cut into her lunch with the family. After all, it seemed Noir and his bunch were her family now. Lucas needed to put her happiness first. Lucas ignored Ajax’s stare. In fact, Lucas didn’t look at anyone except his mom.
“Can I steal you away?”
Wendy was all smiles. She always was. “Of course, baby.” Wendy cast a look around. “Please excuse me.”
She pushed herself to her feet with her walker. Lazarus shot to his feet to help. Lucas doubled his efforts not to see anyone there.
He led the way of their walker brigade, making his way to her bedroom. Lucas wanted to be out of earshot and somewhere no one could easily eavesdrop. He didn’t say a word until they were settled in her private sitting room. It hurt his heart, but his mom deserved the life Noir gave her.
By the time they sat, Wendy looked worried. “Is everything okay?”
Lucas flashed her a smile. She didn’t need any stress. Her heart was already bad. “Everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you. We haven’t had much of a chance lately.”
Guilt passed over Wendy’s features. “I’m sorry. I guess I’ve really taken advantage of some newfound freedom. You know I’d never knowingly ignore you.”
Lucas shook his head. “I don’t feel ignored. Don’t worry about that. You have no idea how happy I am watching you get to do all the things you’ve been robbed of doing for years. This is the life you deserve. In fact, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Ajax asked, on behalf of Noir, that we stay. I think you should.”
Confusion etched her features. They looked so much alike. She might be his mom, but Wendy had also always been his person. His closest friend and the only normalcy he had. Lucas needed her to be happy, even if it hurt him.
