“And now you’re sulking. I never know how to deal with you when you’re sulking.”
A lake can only be a lake. Nothing else.
“Ignore me, then. I won’t waste any more time on your stubbornness. Your sisters should be here as soon as the celestial spheres align. Maybe they can talk sense into you.”
My stepmother roiled away. Good riddance. I relaxed back into the business of ebbing and flowing, my irritation floating away along with what little was left of my identity. Endless uncounted moments drifted past, and I settled further into lakehood, letting go of the last remnants of my nonlake self. Becoming only water.
Until other voices started prodding atme.
“Melilot? Melilot, are you here? Calla, do you see her anywhere?”
“No, I can’t see anything but water. Why is she dreaming about water?”
“Are there any fish you can ask? Can you still do that in a dream?”
The two of them swam through me, around and around, their words becoming bubbles that floated to the surface and popped, releasing their meaning into empty air.
“Calla…I think she is the water. I think she’s become a lake.”
“Really? Good for her! She always wanted to.”
“No, it’s a problem. She’s nearly all lake. There’s almost no Melilot left. We have to turn her back.”
The words roused something buried deep within me, a thought that refused to be silenced no matter how waterlogged it was. First the fog and now this. They couldn’t ever let me be. They were convinced I was inept. Inadequate. Regardless of what I did.
Once more, like an involuntary reflex, an answer welled up from my depths.
I’m fine.
“Melilot? Is that you?” Calla. I vaguely recalled the name. The name of whatever was pestering me. She swam through the dark water, looking for the source of my voice, not quite understanding there was no source other than the water itself.
“Clearly you’re not fine,” said Jonquil. The other one. “You need our help. There’s a ritual I know that might—”
Leave me alone.
“Look,” she continued, paying me no mind, “just tell us where you were when you deliquesced. We’ll get there as soon as we can.”
You always do this.
“Do what? What are you talking about?”
You think I can’t do anything. Both of you. All of you.
“That’s not fair!” Calla burst out. “You’re the one who’s always belittling yourself. I don’t feel that way, and I’ve certainly never said that!”
Then why are you here?
My sister paused. “Do you not want me to care about you?” She sounded bewildered and hurt. I tried my hardest not to feel guilty aboutit.
I want…
What did I want?
“Stop being ridiculous,” Jonquil snapped. “You’re in over your head, and you need us.”
I didn’t ask you to come.
My waters went still. The goose, puzzled by the sudden change, flapped its wings in agitation.
