“Truth.”
“What are you going to check off your list next?”
She bites her lip. “I don’t know. There’s really not much left on there.”
With no warning, she leaps up from the couch, grabbing my hand and dragging me to her bedroom. We walk right up to the list, and she reads through the items that are left. “The first three are all checked off. Good job me.” She pats herself on the back with a smile.Why is she so cute?
“Go to a concert. I checked that off in Tulsa.”
“You did. Unless you had something else in mind. Was there a specific concert you wanted to go to?”
“No, I just wanted to go to one. I’ve only been to one concert in my life, and I was five. I hardly remember it.” She continues reading the items that still need to be done on her list. “Do something for just me. Regenerative agriculture conversion on the ranch, which is in the works. Ride Lucky for fun again…” She turns back to me. “I don’t think I can check off the regenerative agriculture idea for a while. The transition is going to take some time, but it could be fun to ride Lucky. Will you go with me?”
“You know I will. Just name the time and place.”
“What about right now?”
I chuckle. “Name another time and place.”
She bites the inside of her cheek, pulling her phone out to scroll through her calendar. I didn’t realize it’d be such a hassle to pick a day.
With her nose still in her phone, she says, “What about an early morning ride? I don’t have much time during the day, and it’d be nice to watch the sunrise like I used to in high school.”
“Okay, how about we do dance lessons on Thursday night, and I’ll stay over at your place so we can do an early horseback ride on Friday?”
She scrolls up and down. “I think that should work.”
We make our way back into her living room, playing a few more cards before I change the color again. “Blue. Will you do a dare, or should I just do a truth?”
“Truth. I’m not falling into your dare traps anymore.” She crosses her arms.
“I ask you for a one-minute lap danceonetime as a joke, and suddenly I’ve scared you off?”
“Yes! I don’t know how to do that.” She tilts her cards slightly, gesturing in my direction. “What’s your question?”
“What are you holding back from me?”
She frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“Something has been off all night. I’ve been trying to let it slide, but you could hardly find time to ride Lucky, and every time I look into your eyes, I see that you’re tired.”
“It’s just been a long week.” She sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m having a good time. I promise.”
“You don’t need to apologize. You’re always running around and conquering the world, but it seems to me like you never take time for yourself, unless I make you.”
As I say it, one question echoes in my mind:Am I not good enough to share your struggles with?Maybe processing Charlie’s words and hearing the story about my mom hasled her to the realization that I don’t protect the people I love. But this moment needs to be about Lauren, not me. I’ll just have to show her I can be enough.
She plucks at the threads on the rug beneath us. “I guess I don’t know how to slow down. Even if I wanted to, I don’t have a choice right now. Resting means the things on my never-ending to-do list won’t get done. I have people counting on me.”
“Things will still get done. I don’t think you’re capable of leaving a project and not coming back to it to see it through. You might find that taking time to rest will allow you to do things better than you otherwise would’ve done.”
She raises her eyebrows and presses her lips together in a look of doubt. She’s still not sharing exactly what’s going on under the surface, and it kills me because I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.
Narrowing her gaze on me, she says, “I see that ‘I can fix it’ look on your face. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
But I don’t believe her. I grab her, holding her close. “I’m not the same man I used to be. I’m not just going to stand by and watch you suffer.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
