“Maybe not before, but it might now that I know.” He gifts me a lopsided grin, and my stomach somersaults. So much for not turning into a puddle. “What else have you been holding back fromme?”
He licks a dribble of ice cream off his upper lip, making my chest squeeze. I don’t like the way I’m reacting to Jax right now. I don’t want to have feelings for someone for a long time after what I went through with Austin. I may have matured enough to recognize Austin was not the guy for me, but it doesn’t mean I’m ready to love someone else. It doesn’t mean I’m secure enough in myself to put my heart out there again, especially not with a guy like Jax who is known for being a flirtatious commitment-phobe. This needs to stop.
“Nothing else that I can think of.” His cheeks turn pink, but my eyes must be deceiving me because there’s no way Jax Greer is the blushing type.
The conversation lulls, and I take it as an opportunity to pull us away from this more intimate territory we’re heading into.
“I think I need a do-over of my solo meal.”
“Really? You want to do it again?”
“Yeah, I don’t feel right about checking it off my list when I didn’t actually manage to.”
“I think this meal should count. You endured everything you needed to get out of the experience and then some in a very short amount of time.” He chuckles. “What else is still on your list?”
I pull out my phone, then swipe open to the picture I took of it. “Go to a concert, attend a conference, implement regenerative agriculture on the ranch, do something for me and no one else, and attend swing dance lessons at the bar.”
“What do you want to do next?”
“Swing dance lessons are bi-weekly.” I pop open my calendar app. “I can’t make it this Tuesday or Thursday, but I can go the Thursday after that. I’ll plan on attending then.” My eyes settle on another event on my calendar. “Also, I did some research, and there’s a cattle conference being held early next month in Tulsa.”
“Look at you, doing your research. This is great. Are you going to take your dad with you?”
My heart stops. I definitely can’t take Dad right now. It’d be too much for him, but I don’t want to get into all of that with Jax, so instead I give him a little half-truth. “Everyone in the ranching community knows him, so I’d end up completely ignored in the corner while he inadvertently steals the show. I have to go alone.”
He glances up from his sundae. “Are you planning on driving?”
“Of course. It’s only a five-hour drive. I don’t need to fly there.”
“Please don’t go alone. I know the drive isn’t that far, but the roads can be rough this time of year.”
“I’ll be fine. Like I said, if my dad comes, it’ll defeat the whole purpose of having that on the list.”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
I scrunch my nose. “Are you sure?”
“Of course. It’s good for you to do some things alone now, but you don’tneedto be alone. I’ll come with you. It’ll be fun.”
A smile curves on my lips. I can’t help but look forward to this.
Chapter Eleven
Jax
It’s beenover a week since I took Lauren out to dinner and agreed to go with her to the conference in December. I admittedly crossed a line I didn’t mean to, but I’m just trying to be a good friend and look out for her like I promised Charlie I’d do when he left. Except, this feels like more than that.
I busy myself with putting all the high-end liquor back on the shelves while we prepare to open, but my mind keeps wandering. I picture Lauren brushing her hair behind her ear and daintily eating ice cream. I imagine how soft her touch was when she did my skincare routine for me. I think of the texts we’ve sent each other recently despite me telling myself I’d give her some space. To be fair, only texting her instead of spending time with her after I help at the ranch or after my shifts at the barisgiving her space. That’s me showing self-restraint.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out to find a text from Charlie. He’s been texting me a lot more latelysince Lauren tried to steal Poker, and only a quarter of it has been about Lauren. It’s nice to feel like I have my friend back in some capacity. He’s been so distant these last few years. I guess I should’ve expected it after the way he left for LA.
“I’m going to miss you.” I shrug, trying not to act too mushy.
“Nothing will be different.” Charlie swats his hand dismissively. “I’ve been away for school for the last four years.”
I nod, even though we both know he’s saying that to soften the blow. Itwillbe different. Charlie always came home for breaks, and we’ve worked on the ranch together every summer since high school. Now, he’s going off to live his own life. He may come back for the holidays, but we’ll no longer get busted for playing Cowboy Poke instead of actually working.
Charlie grabs on to his truck door. “Will you look out for Lauren while I’m gone? She tends to close herself off when she’s going through hard times. I blame myself a little bit. I’m the one who had to break the mold, and I think she feels like she has to make up for it. I know she has Austin, but you know how I feel about him.”
