“Is everything okay?”
She looks up at me as if she just noticed I’m here. When her eyes latch on mine, her whole body sags and I see tears forming in her eyes. Horrified, I pull her close to me, pressing her face into my chest and holding the back of her head gently in my hands. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to go, Rhett.”
“Go where?”
“Back to San Francisco,” she mumbles. “To stay.”
Her words take the air out of my lungs. “What? Why? What’s going on?”
She pulls away from me, but I hold on tight, afraid that letting her go will be the end of us, whatever we were. I guess we never really had a chance to be anything yet, but Monday was supposed to change that.
“The dinner…”
“I know you texted and said it didn’t go well, but like I told you, I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“No, it really washorrible.”
She fills me in on every horrific detail of the dinner, and I can’t help it as my jaw falls to the floor.
“You’re kidding! Who is this woman? I swear I’ll kill her.”
I hate the thought of someone tearing down Olivia,myOlivia.
She grabs onto my biceps. “No, you won’t.” She pauses to wipe the tears from her soaked cheeks. “She was right. Roots, the idea that I could find another job outside of tax, us… they were all just a fantasy. I came here knowing this was only temporary. I was always supposed to go back. It’s time I get back to reality. We all know that it would just be a mistake if I stayed here. It’d be messy. I’d be in the way. I’m just ripping off the band-aid instead of delaying the inevitable.”
Her voice is firm, but I can see something soft in her amber eyes. She doesn’t want to believe a word of what she’s saying. I can tell from that look that maybe her mind is saying all this, but her heart is begging her to stay and prove all of her biggest fears wrong.
I draw back from her enough to make her look me in the eyes. “You’re not going anywhere. This is not just a fantasy. Roots, a new job that makes you happy, and you and I together, are all within reach. You can’t let that wicked woman win. You’re not a burden. We want you here. Your mom, your dad, Callie, Lauren, me… we all want nothing more than for you to be here for good. And you can’t try to give me some bullshit about not wanting to be here because you’ve told me you want to stay, and I can see it in your eyes even now. So stay. Please.”
Her eyes are wide, and I can feel her heart pounding against my chest. “It’s not that easy. Everyone is getting attached now, and I can’t give you all what you need. I screwed up. Just let me go home beforeI make things worse, please.”
“Youarehome.Youare all that I need.” I drop my lips to the crown of her head. “I’ve already told you I’ll help you get settled. You’re not in this alone. What else do you need from us to finally let yourself be happy?”
Her breathing has slowly been getting quicker with each second that passes, but my question triggers something in her because in an instant, she’s wheezing uncontrollably. There’s panic and fear in her eyes. She clutches her chest as she turns away from me and crumples to the ground.
I feel a squeezing in my chest, and an ache in my heart. I need to make this better. I want to see her happy again. I want to hear her beautiful laugh. It breaks my heart to think that I may have done this to her.
“Olivia, can you hear me?”
She nods as she continues clenching at her chest, her breathing loud and shallow.
“Can I touch you?”
She nods again.
I gently stroke her back. “Can you try to slow down your breathing? I’ll breathe with you.”
Maverick whimpers and rushes over to us. He sets his head in her lap as if to sayI’m here with you too.What a good freaking dog.
“I…. can… do… it…” she says before she takes a deep breath, holding it for an extended period of time before slowly exhaling.
My eyes don’t leave her for so much as a nanosecond as I inspect her to see if the breathing is helping release some of the tension in her shoulders or erase some of the panic in her eyes.
After several minutes, I finally start to think we might be in the clear. She calmed down much faster this time than the last time I was with her. When I say something about it, she nods. “The techniques I’ve learned in therapy have helped me feel a bit more in control.”
“Are you okay?”
